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Title: When they discard why do they hate you? Post by: Husband321 on December 27, 2017, 06:26:07 PM My wife left me at the worst possible time. Found her with another man 4 days before Christmas.
Christmas Eve around 11pm I start getting texts: "You put my sisters number on a porn site and I will sue you!" She sends many more texts telling me how much she hates me. Like 20 texts in a row that I never replied to. I mean it's just a totally fabricated idea. I never did any such thing and it doesn't make any logical sense. Why would she do this? Just to get attention? Get a reply? I already heard she is moving in with the new guy she knew in person for less than a week Title: Re: When they discard why do they hate you? Post by: SlyQQ on December 27, 2017, 08:31:33 PM Be super careful she hasn't posted her sisters name on a porn site and is setting you up for the blame, hating you is perfectly normal.
Best case scenario she is putting all the bad things her exes have done to her ( but not necessarily it might be things she has done to her exes turned around with projection ) and lumped them on you , to be clear you are probably the devil incarnate now. If you want the reason it was because you found her with another man, that was a REALLY bad thing to do to her. Title: Re: When they discard why do they hate you? Post by: Pretty Woman on December 27, 2017, 10:24:50 PM It’s projection. It’s irrational and makes no sense... .
Because you are a rational person. You are best not to respond or engage. There is no way to rationalize with someone who has split you black. The best thing you can do is live your life and be happy. Title: Re: When they discard why do they hate you? Post by: SlyQQ on December 27, 2017, 10:38:19 PM Imho her assumptions are based on false premises, but that does not mean they are not rational or make sense,
It's similar to programing a computer to let 2 +2 = 5 the answers you get, though nonsense are internally consistent and logical Title: Re: When they discard why do they hate you? Post by: MeandThee29 on December 28, 2017, 08:28:16 AM Yes, projection and justification.
If you are "bad" then they can tell everyone how horrible you are and how you are incapable of a good relationship. The reality is that relationships are two-way, and with a BPD diagnosis, you're going to get blamed for more than you're responsible for no matter what you do. Title: Re: When they discard why do they hate you? Post by: Husband321 on December 28, 2017, 09:09:05 AM Exactly. It is simple.
A. Tel me you want divorce B stop marital relations C file D move on Instead she is the "victim" yet professing love and having sex with me until 3 days she moves in with another guy who has kids. In her mind I am sure she did nothing wrong. Title: Re: When they discard why do they hate you? Post by: Harley Quinn on December 29, 2017, 06:25:36 PM Projection onto you of poor behaviour is a way to avoid feelings associated with the shame of her own actions, so unfortunately because she's aware that what she did isn't acceptable she is likely to blame you if she catches a cold now, or if it rains. That is the way she copes. Accepting this can allow you to move past it unscathed without being drawn in.
At the same time, she may also be testing to see if you want to respond by 'fighting for her' and showing her that you are still open to reconciliation when this r/s fails. How does that sit with you? Love and light x |