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Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) => Romantic Relationship | Conflicted About Continuing, Divorcing/Custody, Co-parenting => Topic started by: Tito on January 11, 2018, 11:34:31 AM



Title: Should I leave?
Post by: Tito on January 11, 2018, 11:34:31 AM
Hi. My soon ex-wife ask me to leave the apartment. We have two kids, 10 and 14. I'm worried about their mental health and if I go I won't be able to see them often and help them to cope with this. Should I go ?


Title: Re: Should I leave?
Post by: Skip on January 11, 2018, 12:48:55 PM
Can you tell us a little more?


Title: Re: Should I leave?
Post by: zachira on January 11, 2018, 12:52:14 PM
It is important that whatever decision you take that it be your decision and not based on the advice given by others. A good therapist can help you sort out your feelings and let you figure out what you want to do. Therapists are not counselors, and it is very unethical for a therapist to tell someone to leave their relationship, and the therapist can lose their license for doing this.


Title: Re: Should I leave?
Post by: utnapishtim428 on January 11, 2018, 12:54:35 PM
Tito,

I’m new here, but one thing I’ve found helpful is the book “Splitting: Protecting Yourself While Divorcing Someone with Borderline or Narcissistic Personality Disorder”. It talks a lot about what to do when children are involved (I’m not in that situation). I would buy that book if I were you (you can get it on Amazon for like $7 and read it online, so you don’t have to wait for the book to ship to you).

If possible, it’s probably also a good idea to consult with a lawyer and a therapist before you do anything that may compromise you in the future (doing that without anyone finding out is probably important). Also... .the people that post on here are great! Keep coming back for sure  

(https://bpdfamily.com/book-covers/1608820254.png)(https://bpdfamily.com/book-covers/spacer.gif)Splitting: Protecting yourself While Divorcing a Borderline or a Narcissist
Author: William A. ("Bill" Eddy, Esq
Publisher: Eggshell Press (2004)
Paperback: 150 pages
ISBN-10: 1608820254
ISBN-13: 978-1608820252

(https://bpdfamily.com/book-covers/spacer.gif)
(https://bpdfamily.com/book-covers/locate.png) (http://www.bookfinder.com/search/?keywords=1608820254&st=sh&ac=qr&submit=)
(https://bpdfamily.com/book-covers/support.png) (http://www.BPDcentral.com/store/splitting/prod_9.html)


Title: Re: Should I leave?
Post by: Skip on January 11, 2018, 12:55:49 PM
Hi zachira,

I think tito is trying to explore his options and get feedback - not defer his decision making to members here. That makes sense to me.

Leaving the house has some legal ramifications that many of us didn't know, so there is a trade off to be made.

Skip   :)