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Title: Ready to value myself Post by: marvinella on January 14, 2018, 03:50:09 PM I have been in a relationship for almost two years with a pbd person (undiagnosed), and I am just exhausted and done. We live two and a half hours away and I have spent nearly every weekend traveling to see her and giving and giving and giving, and no matter what I do we keep going in the same circles. This last weekend found me waking up at 430am to drive to help a family member move. She has a lot of family and she lives with her siblings but none of them helped. I spent the entire day loading a uhaul and then unloading it, just my gf and me, and then at the end of the evening I was told I was selfish and called horrible names (of course not the first time). And I said that hurts my feelings and she said I deserved it and it was my fault that it happened. And I'm just so sad for me that I allowed myself to be so devalued for so long. And I need to be done. But if I'm honest I have no idea how to even go about that or what it looks like because of course we have done this break up, make up dance for as long as we have been together.
I welcome any feedback or camraderie or anything at this point, because I feel like I'm on an island right now. Title: Re: Ready to value myself Post by: formflier on January 14, 2018, 04:44:47 PM *welcome*
You have found a place that can help. I've so sorry you have been devalued in your relationship. You sound like a very giving and helpful person. I'm one of the "ambassadors" here. Feel free to ask questions about how to get around and "how this works." I would recommend starting looking to the right of your screen and click on "choosing a path". Start reading... .when something surprises you... .make a note, write down questions... . Come back and post your questions here. If you try to check in a few times a day after a week or so, you'll have a pretty good idea of how things work and what you can do... .(repeat that... what YOU can do to make your relationship better)... .even without your GFs cooperation. And I need to be done. I've been there too... .utter exhaustion... .nothing left... .absolutely nothing. Can we change you wording a bit... perhaps for the next month. "I'm done being devalued.." How does that sound? If you are up for it, we can share a few tips that can shift things in your relationship and establish your value. FF |