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Title: Detaching (with love) Post by: walkinthepark247 on January 15, 2018, 09:27:19 AM I see that there is a section now for detaching from a failed relationship. At least, I don’t remember seeing it before. However, what about those times when you need to detach from the relationship in an effort to save your health/sanity so you can remain in the relationship? How do you articulate this to your partner? When are the times that you need to detach? What do you do when you detach? How do you re-enter? When do you know that it is time to reattach?
Example from my own life: I will leave any conversation when my uBPDw begins calling me obscenities. I will not tolerate it any longer. I politely stand and say that I am exiting the room and conversation. Perhaps this isn’t the best example of detaching, but it was the first that came to mind. Perhaps detaching means something different for you. However, I think we all need to withdraw at times in an effort to recoup. I look forward to hearing your thoughts on this subject. Feel free to expand it beyond the one example (which may be poor) above. I also want to make sure I fully understand “detaching”. Title: Re: Detaching (with love) Post by: Meili on January 15, 2018, 03:25:57 PM I'm glad that you brought this up walkinthepark247. There is actually a thread about detaching with love that I am circulating around the boards. You can find it HERE (https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=318951.0).
I view what you are talking about more as re-engaging after an argument or raging. When you are detached with love, it is actually easier to do so. You own your part and allow the other person to own his or hers. There is a differentiation between the two individuals and their respective roles. For me, how to re-engage depends on the circumstances. Both S.E.T. and D.E.A.R.M.A.N. (https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=69272.0) are my stock goto tactics. Well, unless I was actually in the wrong. In that case, I start by apologizing. |