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Title: Almost two weeks since the last contact Post by: irishlg2000 on January 24, 2018, 07:10:28 PM I know my daughter is at school (University), and since her last blow up I have not heard from her, blocked me from having contact with her
It is bizarre what sets her off, I can't always see it coming. She is on a new med which seemed to be helping It is so alien to me to be in this position I have not tried to contact her as I have in the past. Right now I am just letting it lie crying a bit talking to my sister and I am here :) Title: Re: Almost two weeks since the last contact Post by: JustYouWait on January 25, 2018, 05:54:44 AM hey, irish!
Sorry you had to find us, but I'm glad you found us. There's a lot to unpack in your post, so I broke it down: I know my daughter is at school (University), and since her last blow up I have not heard from her, blocked me from having contact with her That sucks. It must be hard being cut off. Is she mad at you for a particular reason (no judgment, it could be that you packed two different color socks in the last care package)? In my experience, and this may not be the case for everyone, sometimes BPD'ers cut people off as a power play, sometimes it's "triangulation". that's a big one. Take a look at it. If you're the "bad guy", who would she make "the good guy"? It is bizarre what sets her off, I can't always see it coming. No one can. Don't beat yourself up for not being able to see into another person's brain, let alone someone with BPD. This isn't on you. She is on a new med which seemed to be helping Yeah, meds are a roulette wheel. Sometimes you get lucky. Sometimes zero/double zero comes up. It is so alien to me to be in this position I understand that feeling. Please understand, this is not your fault. Also understand that we can't force our BPD'ers to contact us as often as we would like, nor in the method of how we would like, nor with the message of what we would want. That part is the truly worst for me. I have not tried to contact her as I have in the past. Now, that is a strong move, in my completely untrained position. I do that as well, sometimes. Gives the BPD'er time to either calm down and approach on their terms as well as stating to them "I'm not coming to you, as you chose to break contact". Right now I am just letting it lie crying a bit talking to my sister and I am here :) Another strong move. Let your thoughts and emotions out, somewhere. Have you thought of therapy for you? It helps. Other than that, come here early and often. We're here. And you are not alone. -jyw Title: Re: Almost two weeks since the last contact Post by: Mutt on January 25, 2018, 04:29:35 PM Hi Irishlg2000,
*hi* I’m sorry that you’re going through this. Splitting is a primitive defence mechanism that protects the ego from anxiety and stress. PwBPD cannot see people as an integrated whole. A good person has bad qualities and a bad person has good qualities. I completely understand how hurtful splitting is realize that it’s not personal to you it’s something that you’re D is going through. How old is she? Learn as much as you can about the disorder. It will help with normalizing the disorder and depersonalizing the behaviours. Learn to become I different to the behaviours you neither like it or hate it. Look at it this way a pwBPD will split people that they care about most black. |