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My daughter's birth was traumatic: she was distressed due to becoming stuck and needed to be born by emergency Caesarian.  Her face was squashed at birth (chin out of alignment, nose squashed to one side).  You can imagine the pressure her head would have been under to cause such changes.

As a child I instinctively felt she was quiet and subdued, and she herself can trace her classic BPD symptoms right back throughout her earliest memories of childhood.  Of course, given her birth complications the obvious place, for me, is to look first at her birth as the potential cause for her condition, as she seems to have 'come to us' this way.  She's in her mid twenties now, and in a relatively good place at the moment; but has been through incredibly traumatic times and every day can be a challenge for her.

I have been researching online this morning about traumatic birth and its relationship to BPD, having always been convinced that this pressure must have played a part, if not a big part.  I would be very interested to know how many others can identify with this.  In a research study I found, "medical complications" at birth was the highest factor for BPD; so I'd like to know just how much of a 'trend' there is towards oxygen deprivation, and huge pressure on/in the head at birth, having played in other BPD sufferers' experience.

Thank you so much for any responses.  If there's a very clear correlation, there could be an argument for bringing this into the wider public consciousness; in this case, we'd need to have suggestions as to how this could be medically avoided in the future, bearing in mind the Caesarian saved her life and a baby becoming stuck cannot always be predicted.

Hi Cassidy

My son is now 27 and was always difficult. Trying to keep to facts because I’ve my own emotional responses that may sway opinion one way or the other.

Normal pregnancy, first birth and his head got stuck. My uterus is on a tilt. After 16 hours doctor decided to manually move his head back. The word “move” is a gross understatement! He was delivered by high forcep delivery. I had gas and air.

Looking back we were both traumatised. I didn’t start to bond until he was about 8 months. He had delayed development including a weakened neck.

It could be said there was some long term consequence of being stuck either physical restriction or baby trauma. I once said to my husband “well he was dragged out to be born and then had to be pushed at every step forwards from them on.”  I look and wonder at my own state of mind, clearly postnatal depressed but I didn’t seek help because I felt I was a bad mother. I write those words and want to repeat “I thought I was a bad mother”. My personality traits are that when I think I’m failing I try harder, persistent and going to any lengths to achieve what I need. I feel I was definitely part of the problem as I had little parenting skills. I was raised to be quiet and undeserving so fighting my corner didn’t enter my mind. I electively went back to work very early - to a safer place! We just needed support.

There’s no guilt, no blame. I fully accept our situation and doing the work here has given me some grace to reflect and then leave my past behind.

I’m glad you posted. I’ve often wondered about the birth but in my case ive always believed it was a mixture of things. We often look for answers and if there’s collective evidence that shows a need for additional action/awareness then this is a good thing.

I’m interested to read the other responses!

LP

Thanks LP.

Sorry to hear about your situation, and thanks for posting.

All the best, Cassidy

Hi  Cassidy

I fully understand and relate to wanting to find out what ‘caused’ this illness, it is a perfectly natural thing to want to do. Maybe it’s to reassure ourselves that it was out of our control and not any fault of ours, not that I am suggesting that it is any parent’s fault that their child has BPD, far from it. I myself have spent so much time thinking about what may have caused it. I don’t think there is any straightforward answer, as I think it manifests as a result of many different and contributing factors.

I have given birth three times which I will outline here:

Eldest child was in the breach position for almost the entire duration of the pregnancy. An attempt was made about half way through the pregnancy to manipulate and turn her into the correct position. As was expected, she reverted back to breach. Unexpectedly she did turn at around 38 weeks which apparently is quite unusual in first pregnancy. I had a very painful, lengthy (16-17hrs) and traumatic birth experience, her head was turned sideways and she was stuck. They used Neville Barnes forceps (the biggest ones around at that time) to deliver her. I was very lucky, unlike Lollypop, that after an initial feeling of not wanting to pick her up, as soon as I did, I bonded instantly. She is now a well adjusted and successful adult.

My second child was induced, labour was 7-8hrs, she appeared with a squashed face and an eye infection, and couldn’t open her eyes for three months. She also is a well adjusted and successful adult.

Third child, my son, had the shortest and easiest birth out of the three. No problems bonding and was always the most loving of my three children. Today is a different story, he is n/c with me because he blames me for all his problems, he is my uBPD traits child x