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Children, Parents, or Relatives with BPD => Son, Daughter or Son/Daughter In-law with BPD => Topic started by: Hyacinth Bucket on January 26, 2018, 03:40:05 PM



Title: Breakthrough and crises
Post by: Hyacinth Bucket on January 26, 2018, 03:40:05 PM
My DD20 ended up going on a road trip with a 43 year old man. He assured her he'd pay for everything etc. That lasted a week. Ended badly with her in the city where her birth mother lives and where she was arrested last year for attacking her awful birth mother. She won't come home to her apartment here, offered her a plane ticket with my miles. She wants to go back to work at the strip club she was working at last year. That won't last long. She left to go on the roadtrip because she started doing meth and the dealer lives in her complex. We cannot let her live with us so that's not an option. Has been to inpatient paychiatric twice in the last six months, refuses rehab. She is supposedly not using right now.

It's really hard with every awful crisis that pops up to remember that she is making progress. Last week she had some truly incredible insights into herself and how she treats people. Even with the crisis she has been processing emotions in a real healthy way. She has been consistently seeing both good and bad in people and able to talk calmly about it. Last week I explained to her (after she called to yell at me for not giving her enough attention) that her dad and I can't save her. She has to save herself. Her attitude seems to have shifted toward us. I don't know if it will last but it's definite progress.

I am so worried about her being there. At least here she has an apartment. I've been working with a therapist intensively for the past year and I am much better at not letting these things ruin me but today I am feeling pretty low. Could use some encouragement from you lovely people. Thank you ❤❤


Title: Re: Breakthrough and crises
Post by: Huat on January 26, 2018, 08:24:26 PM
Hello Hyacinth Bucket .  You are needing a hug and here it is !

The decisions you are making when you draw lines in regards to living arrangements, etc. for your daughter are, no doubt, difficult decisions... .but... .this seems to be work that your daughter needs to do for herself.

It is so nice to read that YOU are seeing a therapist.  Oh so important!

You hang in there, Girl!  You sure didn't sign up for this... .but this is what it is... .and you are doing the best you can for her... .for you.  Be confident in that knowledge.  Sometimes we have to let them fall so that they can learn.

Here is another one... .((HUG).  Stick with us.

Huat.


Title: Re: Breakthrough and crises
Post by: Hyacinth Bucket on January 26, 2018, 08:26:21 PM
Hi Huat,   thank you so much, that is exactly what I needed. I hope you are well and have a good weekend