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Narcissist or BPD? Both?

Knowing full well what I got into was bad I know! And I at least feel remorse and guilt and stupid. But remember these people are great at manipulating, more so once you have feelings and attached.

I am confused and had hard time. I got involved with a women who had a bf but the night we got drunk and spoke she told me their were issues, anyway she kissed me. Got my number and things went from there. I knew what I was doing was bad but there was something sucking me in with this women.
She loved bombed me in all ways they do. Manipulated, pushed me away at times and when I agreed in the end she would be back day or 2 later saying I'm still on her mind and suck me back in.

She made her bf improve things and even propose to her and then is off cheating with me still. If I didn't see or talk when she wanted it caused issues, when I wanted anything my wsy was when fights started.

Over the time I felt like she would just turn from lovey one night to pushing me away the next and then coming back again.

After we had little break, we started up again and for 5-6 months besides some fights about her selfish side and talking with no action. We were pretty good, alot of sex and caych ups, phone and txting ect as normal.
Caught her out on odd lie here and there, she always seemed self absorbed and manipulative. Didjt want me moving on to another girl even though she was in a relationship trying to still have a baby!

Moving forward after a few days away together, she went on work trip. This is when things changed and felt her pulling away for first time. She said she needed to pull back as she wants focus on her rel. I had suspected she was seeing another guy who she had work travel with but more I pushed this the more lies and fights and gas lighting happened, calling me crazy, paranoid or making up  please read               | in my head, being insecure and if ever got a sorry it was I'm sorry i made you feel that way...

The more I suspected and more she was missing and routine changed the more we had fights and more lies and bs I got. Even if I said something nornal like u can call me tonigjt when yr done with everything she went off becuase I was no doubt getting in way of her cheating ways. This was a person who only weeks prior talked to me almost every Min or the day in some way and always wanted to know what I was doing to now not giving a  please read               |. She never cared enough bout her bf before so I knew there was more to it.

She made up massive lies bout being with her bf which I later found out she was with new supply. More closer I got to truth the more she lied and started blaming me for how I rel turned to crap. I got blamed for everything by the end and also reason her rel got destoryed and chances of her having  a baby with him. I later found out she had already left that bf. She just did not want me to know and more I begged for truth the more nasty she became. I saw whole diff side to her. Last time I saw her it was like her personality had totally changed.

I got destoryed when I found out the whole truth and fact for least the least month and half she was sleeping with all 3 guys. Now she is just with the new guy. Totally blocked and cut me out as she said I was abusive, possessive, needy ect but this was all at end because I was trying to get the truth of what the hell happened to the girl who was obsessed with me prior!

Everything she said I was at the end, she had done through the whole relationship. Use to stalk my social media and hate any girl on it.
She said I was the love of her life... Then leaves me and her other bf like we were nothing but things to be used.

I found out she had also lied about other things along the way. She is jealous person who always thinks others are jealous of her if they are goin against her in any way. More so other women. She cheated with me for 15 months until point of getting thus new guy who must be a sucker like I was for her to want to be in a relationship.

I have read heaps about mental disorder since then and scary enough she fits bill of a narcissist but also other traits so sometimes it's confusing.

Anyone else help? She is a compulsive liar, cheater, manipulator, suductive, charming, moody, hated criticism like most ppl but she would go off, never really said sorry and if she did it would be taken back by the next fight or it was sh*t apology, thinks highly of herself and wears very expensive brands of clothing which seen can be narcissist women trait, showed no care for how she treated me at end or her other bf. Only that it's my fault and that I became crazy? And now she is playing the victim very well!

Only thing looking back is she seemed more shy, spesh with her body at first. Not sure if it was because I was younger then her. She is good at hiding her true self and seems to be different depending who she is spending time with.

I just want to know for my own sanity if she appears to have mental disorder or is she just a cheating lying scum bag?

Hi Gunit,

I"m sorry that you have had difficulties in your relationship and that you are hurting.

We are not psychologists here so it would be impossible for us to disagnosis her with one disorder or another. All of us fall somewhere on the BPD spectrum, with little to no traits or many of the traits.

How long ago did you break up?

About 2 months ago. Well once she discarded me after me pretty well working out she was cheating with a 3rd person. Isn't compulsive lying, cheating, self absorbed, projecting and blaming issues all signs of a mental problem?

Hi Gunit,

I see you are looking for answers and they are not always so easy to find. Perhaps reading Stop Walking on Eggshells, or by doing a search for lists of BPD traits you can compare and consider and come to some set idea in your head over these issues you experienced with her.

My husband has only some of the BPD traits, not others, so it was very hard for me for the longest time to get a grip on this. Still, I have a hard time, because people can have more than one mental illness and then what.

I would advise though to focus on how this makes you feel and what impact it has on your lives. If she cheated on you because it is part of an illness, or she is just being terrible towards you, the impact is essentially them same although the "causes" may be different.

Either way this kind of behavior is very damaging and once someone gets used to this and doesn't hold a firm line on avoiding such behavior one is likely bound to repeat it. She does not have boundaries on this and is running multiple relationships at once. If that is not something you can tolerate than the solutions to this are in your hands. What do you want to do?

wishing you peace, pearl.

She is also a pathological liar, found out so many lies, big ones like cheating and where she actually is and lies that seem like no reason to actually lie. Makes me question the whole rel. I want to move on. All I want.