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Title: Allergic reaction to Cluster B people Post by: ijustwantpeace on January 30, 2018, 11:11:00 AM Since I learned to spot cluster B illness in people I seem to have been having an allergic reaction to cluster B people.
I know it sounds cold and heartless, and I feel bad about it, but not sure how to respond. I think I may have PTSD or complex PTSD from being raised by a disordered, dysfunctional mother, and now I seem to feel threatened by people who have cluster B illness ie. BPD, NPD, or bi-polar. I want to be caring and compassionate, but don't want their untreated illness bringing me down. Right now I have a cluster B housemate and, set some boundaries and he seems to be respecting them and leaving me alone with his problems, but just don't want to deal with it. Is it wrong, or evil to not want cluster B people in my life? Is it wrong to all lump them into the same big crazy bucket? IDK? At a loss here. Title: Re: Allergic reaction to Cluster B people Post by: strength_love on January 30, 2018, 01:17:04 PM I don't think it can ever be wrong or evil to do what is best for you, or to act on experience and instinct. You have no obligation to be close to anyone, particularly when you see warning signs that they might have some of the same traits as those who have hurt you in the past.
I am much like you. I avoid cluster B people or people who appear to have those traits. I refuse to ignore what I see as red flags, and I make no apologies for it. After everything I've been through I think I've earned a break from all of that, and I've certainly paid my "cluster B dues". Let someone else have a turn. :) I have similar feelings about drug addicted people. I have paid my dues by loving and supporting multiple people in my life who've struggled with addiction. I have been lied to, abused, robbed, taken advantage of and hurt by those people. Several people I loved dearly have died from drug overdoses. It's someone else's turn to take that torch. I can't do it anymore. Title: Re: Allergic reaction to Cluster B people Post by: ijustwantpeace on January 31, 2018, 07:32:32 AM I don't think it can ever be wrong or evil to do what is best for you, or to act on experience and instinct. You have no obligation to be close to anyone, particularly when you see warning signs that they might have some of the same traits as those who have hurt you in the past. I am much like you. I avoid cluster B people or people who appear to have those traits. I refuse to ignore what I see as red flags, and I make no apologies for it. After everything I've been through I think I've earned a break from all of that, and I've certainly paid my "cluster B dues". Let someone else have a turn. :) I have similar feelings about drug addicted people. I have paid my dues by loving and supporting multiple people in my life who've struggled with addiction. I have been lied to, abused, robbed, taken advantage of and hurt by those people. Several people I loved dearly have died from drug overdoses. It's someone else's turn to take that torch. I can't do it anymore. Thanks Strength_Love, This is helpful. Since posting I have realized I have been reacting more to the trama caused by these people, and less by the people themselves. You give good advice, and I feel like I have paid my dues (if that is a thing) and now is the time for me to live me life and be happy. I is hard as I am digging myself out of a financial hole caused by all the turmoil brought on by these people. I wish them well, but no longer feel the need to take care of them. As far as progress goes I am in step 19 making sense of the abuse, the best way I can. Looking forward to thriving! |