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Title: Friend Post by: Sweet Melody on February 01, 2018, 08:27:36 PM Hi all
I appreciate being able to talk here. I couldn't find a particular category for "Friend" so I just put it under family member. I have a dear friend who I refer to as my sibling. They identify with Autism Spectrum Disorder, however their initial diagnosis was OCPD. I have ASD. My psychologist believes that they has ASD and BPD, and I agree. We met April last year, and within a few weeks we were extremely close. Messaging was daily and constant ... .I don't know how much time we were spending talking to one another, but it would probably been an hour or so a day. We went away together for a few days in the July holidays, and it was pointed out to me that them being married, it was not exactly normal for them to be going away with one friend. We often talked about spiritual connections, and she would say things that were perhaps very intense, however, I was thrilled that someone was so open and honest about these things and that I finally had someone to talk to that got it. There were however, some occasions that were quite concerning. There was one time where she was going to come and stay the night, and my parent requested that she just come for dinner. My friend interpreted it as them not wanting her to come over, so she didn't come at all. I was upset because my routine was changed, but I didn't say anything because I don't think it is fair taking my problems out on others. The next day, she said that it was the worst decision she had made that year, she felt empty, and that she needed me. I just disappeared, and said I couldn't help her. at this stage I felt quite emotionally numb. Anyway, thank you for letting me tell of my experiences. |iiii Title: Re: Friend Post by: Turkish on February 01, 2018, 11:23:09 PM Hello Sweet Melody,
*welcome* My son (8) has ASD1. I can imagine how he'd bond with someone else who had similar interests. Do you think part of your connection was similar? The BPD traits spin this a whole other direction. She perceived rejection, acted out and shut down. She's hurt, even though that was not your intent, and that's how she views this reality. People with BPD (pwBPD) feel the same emotions, but they are much more intense and often uncontrollable. Even OCPD can be similar, a person obsessing, "does she like me? Why did she do that if she likes me? She doesn't like me!" For example. We talk here about validating the emotions of pwBPD, but validation works on anybody. Communication tools in the lessons on the Bettering Board can help. Take a look: Tools for communication, validation, and reinforcement of good behavior (https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=56206.msg913190#msg913190) How long ago was your last communication with her? |