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My girlfriend has been breaking up with me literally every other day then fine the nect like notbing happened and sorry amd says she loves me. We broke up back in september and had two gfs inbetween but also going back to her inbetween those ones. Now we have been back for a few months amd she cant let go that i was with other women when we were apart and breaks up with me every other day or brings it up constantly. How do i reassure her or break this cycle with out losing her. I told her i wouldnt leave her like her dad left her mother bit now im just embarrassed and confused and an emotional wreck. Can we fix this and stop the rapid cycle and start from squre o e or will this be a forever thing and if so i noticed i am the one who has to end it cause she will come back evertime. What do i do to end it if thatz the onlu option? Help! We have been together for 3 years have kids and have been life long friends and i want to try becausr we just found put about her BPD we always thought it was just her bipolar but she got dual diagnosed and made decision to start meds after careful consideration.

Hi Married237 and welcome to the family!   It sounds like the cycle of breakups has really worn you out. Constant breakup cycles is something a lot of us here can relate to and I think is fair to say is a commonly seen situation with someone with BPD. I myself recently was sent divorce papers during work after one argument about parenting and the next day things were fine. The instability can be exhausting.   

How has your girlfriend responded to the BPD diagnosis? How old are your kids and how do you think this behavior on your girlfriend's part is effecting them?

My story is just one of many you will find here that probably share common ground with yours. I suggest you start by browsing the threads and joining in ones in which you feel your experience might be relevant to share. Aside from being an incredible resource bank, this site is first and foremost a support community. You are not alone!

ROE

Married237,

I am not sure I can help but I'll try. I had one uBPD ex that would break up with me so much, the rollercoaster was terrible, and the worst thing is that I entered that pattern too, he had trust issues and more. My recent ex is diagnosed, he is much much better than the other one but still has some traits, he goes to therapy but we still have some issues. From what I have read, BPD is an issue that will be there forever!, all the traits might go aways but might come back as well, maybe not at the same time and not for the same reasons. I am not sure how much you will need to put into the relationship, maybe change some patterns, make her fall in love again, I am not sure, but hopefully she will feel more sure and will trust you more. What I have found that works for me, is being vulnerable. Once I open my emotions and expose my vulnerability to him, he feels more compassion and is driven by his real feelings more than the thunderstorm that is happening in his head. I am currently working on my ways too, but that could be a thing to try? Let me know how it goes?
 
Best luck!