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Title: If she sees me trying to move on during break-up: Better or Worse? Post by: randomuser94 on February 16, 2018, 01:32:19 AM How will se react if she sees me trying to move on during break-up?
To be more precise I'm thinking about posting a small instagram story with a girl from the mountainside. I will make sure she can't recognize her. Details regarding my/our positon right now: She broke up with me 2months ago and went ahead and painted me 'black', became a victim and went ahead to try some sort of relation with another guy. Even as painted 'black' she came home and told me to leave my stuff in the house as she doesn't want to lose me, but we will never be more than friends(which we both know it's not posible and it will never happen). I will sleep at a friend but she will basically call me whenever she 'feels like it'(which i expect to be quite often since she won't be able to handle the loneliness-she's quite dependent of me) I expect her to finish her wierd-relation with the other guy this weekend, so things are slowly moving towards the end of the cycle. Will a thing like this make her realize that her actions bring consequences or it will just prove her fear that i was leaveing her from the start? I know it sounds wierd but I'm sure there's some sence in my question. Title: Re: If she sees me trying to move on during break-up: Better or Worse? Post by: enlighten me on February 16, 2018, 01:56:45 AM Hi Randomuser94
What you need to realise is that a pwBPD relies on their feelings to make decisions. Feelings constantly change so what they want will always change. When it comes to you depending how she is feeling will decide what she wants. This can chop and change constantly throughout the day. She may decide that it is you that she wants. If she does and you get back together you have to be prepared for her feelings to change again. Title: Re: If she sees me trying to move on during break-up: Better or Worse? Post by: randomuser94 on February 16, 2018, 02:00:25 AM Hi Randomuser94 What you need to realise is that a pwBPD relies on their feelings to make decisions. Feelings constantly change so what they want will always change. When it comes to you depending how she is feeling will decide what she wants. This can chop and change constantly throughout the day. She may decide that it is you that she wants. If she does and you get back together you have to be prepared for her feelings to change again. What bothers me is that I know the game she's playing and I got tired to play by her rules as the result is always the same. Title: Re: If she sees me trying to move on during break-up: Better or Worse? Post by: enlighten me on February 16, 2018, 05:33:21 AM Try not to look at it as a game. It isn't. Shes not trying to play you, its just her reacting to how she feels.
Once you understand this then you can get a better understanding of how BPD works. For example think of someone you work with and think is ok. Then think of how you would feel about that person if you were told they were bad mouthing you behind your back. Then think if you found out the other person had made it all up and your work college hadnt bad mouthed you. Your feelings would have gone from like to dislike back to like with a bit of guilt. This is BPD when it comes to how they feel about people. There may not even have been anything more than a delayed reply or a misintepreted phrase to change those feelings. |