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The straw that broke the camels back, the cup of water that eventually sank the ocean liner Titanic, the last bullet fired in the First World War, .the spark that set the fire that burned down San Fransico, .all very interesting... .to quote Clint Eastwood, “a Man has to know his limitations”... .

... .when the dull thud becomes a migraine headache that seems to never end, like a drowning person in the deep end the pool, you will do whatever is necessary to get the life extending breath of air.

Go ahead and do that one thing you always do one more time... .the true meaning of “going postal”... .

I reached that point today I do believe, that “straw” was more like a rail road tie across my face... .inconsequential to some, but deafening to me, 

Red5

OK, Red, you’ve piqued my curiosity. What was the last straw?

I want to echo Cat Familiar what is that one thing that broke the camels back?

Yesterday morning she was as at me, we had cross words, I posted last night a post called “Text Bombed”... .this is the straw part and previous to me leaving for work, and taking my Son to his program enroute... .as we were backing down the drive way, u/BPDw opens garage door back up, comes out with the bottle of wine I’d gotten her for Valentine’s Day, opens the vehicle door and throws it in, then I am like no, and I take wine bottle out and go into the garage, she has locked the door, I unlock it and go inside,  now she has the dozen beautiful roses I have also given her, and off she goes to the bedroom, I should not have followed but I did, then she dumps the beautiful dozen roses into the toilet... .yes the toilet... .ok. not the end of the world, but an indicator of her feelings... .I took out my phone and took a picture of the dozen beautiful roses laying there in the toilet... .

I thought to myself... .“self, how does that feel, but MOST importantly, how many times has she done this, or something like it?”... .

Well, that was the last time, it’s been ten years and I am done having this same senario played out again and again... .

Those poor innocent roses laying there in that toilet broke me... .

So there you go Cat, and Mutt~> that was the final straw for me, the cup of water that sank the ship finally... .

I am done... .

Red5

Red5, my heart goes out to you.

I also wrote about the "camel's back" in another thread.  A woman had counted up all the abuses she had suffered in the years of her marriage.  Then one day, her H threw out a stack of magazines she had not yet read without asking her.  It was that turning point that she decided to have him served for divorce.

A seemingly small thing.  The last small act of being inconsiderate.

My uBPD H has done the same things:  once he threw a bouquet of flowers he had bought me into the outdoor trash container in a fit of rage.    This was because he gave me flowers and a some inexpensive items for a wedding anniversary, and yet spend about a thousand dollars on a daughter for a "just because" gift, and I protested.  I was hurt and humiliated.  I also took a photo of the flowers in the trash bin as a reminder of what he did.

I suspect that I will experience a moment just like the woman with the magazines... .and you.  I will have my final straw.

   

So sorry man... .  Can you and your son go do something special and kind for each other? 

FF

Yes Sir!... .we will finish our chores today and then go out to our favorite eating joint, and get some bbq, then we will come home and have a “coffee milkshake”, and then we will go to church in the morning,

SOP & normal squadron routine is the best way to go, onward and upward !

I am now OUT of the rose buisiness, that will be the last time my happy good nature will be trampled upon... .

Hope all is well in your grid square formflier !

Red5

I like coffee... .I love milkshakes.  Please tell me more about what you do.

Relaxing in my grid.  All is well.

FF

I used to leave little love notes in my H's briefcase for him to find during his work day.  These would be on little slips of paper.  Over the years, as the rages escalated and my place in H's life usurped by his adult children, these little notes came to a stop.  I no longer allowed myself to play the fool when others were clearly more important to him.  I always believed a spouse was one's best friend.  Not so here.  uBPD/uNPD H is constantly texting his children, reading their texts with a grin on his face. Then in a split second, start ordering me around the house to clean, cook his meals, etc.

No more notes.