BPDFamily.com

Had a really good session with my therapist. Halfway through telling her about my ex, she put her hand up, asked me to stop, and said ' I sincerely hope you have cut all contact with this person'
Her goal Now, is to help me through the grieving process, and work on my self esteem.
I feel better already.

Awesome therapist! I love it when she said:”I sincerely hope you have cut all contact with this person”. Keep up the good work!...

Feels good. She is very direct, and doesn't wax lyrical. I did mention, that I struggle daily, with obsessive thoughts, and a desire to contact her, with that, she said, that was her mission, even though she has gone, you are still thinking about her, it's the only kind of validation she can achieve, and believe me, she is as addicted to You, as you think you are to her, the difference is, unlike her, you recognise it, and want it to stop, this makes her feel alive.
She also advised me, to change any fb, email accounts I have, and that she wasn't saying it to give me false hope, she said it, because in cases like this, they think they own you.
She doesn't want me, but no one else can, which is why she returns, after a period, to suck me back in again, very sobering.

One other thing she did say, was about the obsessive thinking, as tiring and as painful as it is, let them come, it's your brains way, of decompressing, and making sense of what has happened.
Use it as a positive, in days, weeks, months to come, you can look back, and see your own progress, just view them in a positive way.
Trying to replace with a negative image or reminder, just puts more stress, on your already fatigued nervous system.

That’s great to hear! It’s a good feeling when you clique with a good T, isn’t it? To hear a professional tell you that had to be liberating. I’m happy for you.

That is great that you found a good therapist.  They are worth their weight in gold for helping one make sense out of the very confusing behavior that we experience.


I have found the above to be true.  I am 5 years out from my uBPDxh.  I am still single since the split - have had one relationship where we realized that we have different visions for the future but we have remained friendly.  Meanwhile, my ex remarried very shortly after we separated (and we had been married 40 years).  Even though he is married now, he still rants and raves if he hears from one of our five grown kids that I've gone out on a date or anything.  He doesn't really "return" to me and I think he has given up sucking me back in (finally), but he still throws his opinions around to the kids about what he thinks I should be doing and seems to be adversely affected by his lack of control over me... .still... .

Great job!  |iiii

It's very empowering, it all goes round and round in your head, if I had done this, said that.
My destiny was set, when she came into my life, beginning, middle, end, and nothing I could have said, or done, would have changed that.

That's exactly right, PS.

Life's too short to spend it trying to love someone who doesn't treat you with love back... .and never will.

J