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Title: Am I being too cautious? Post by: RollerMom75 on March 09, 2018, 11:03:03 PM My fiancée who took off 2 months ago and left me and my son and his own son behind, took a job thousands of Miles away but now wants us back. I told him I want that too but I want to take things slowly, and I want he and I to spend time together figuring this out before we announce anything To the kids. My fiancée wants to come visit and stay with us for 2 weeks, but then he has to go back to his job which is now thousands of Miles away for another 6 months. I want to protect this kids. It’s already been hard to explain why he up and left without saying goodbye. I don’t know how to explain if he comes to stay then leaves again so I’d rather he stay away from the kids for now. Am I being too cautious
Title: Re: Am I being too cautious? Post by: DaddyBear77 on March 11, 2018, 08:46:05 PM Hi RollerMom75, I'm sorry this post got missed yesterday.
I read your last post from a few days ago, and I really wanted to congratulate you on finding the strength to handle this situation. I think it's important you trust that strength and make the decision you feel is right. I think your instinct here is to do what's best for your children, and I believe you are finding they are trustworthy instincts. At least they seem so to me! I tend to agree that it could be very confusing for the kids to have 2 full weeks of their father, only to have him leave again for 6 months. Have you discussed any other options? More frequent but shorter visits? Could he stay somewhere else for the 2 weeks and have shorter visits? Would that be less confusing? I don't know. But there are probably many different paths this could go down. What do you think? Title: Re: Am I being too cautious? Post by: Mutt on March 12, 2018, 11:59:25 AM Hi RollerMom75,
What a difficult predicament that your fiancee put you in. I'm sorry to hear that The r/s is between the kids their dad and the kids and you but to have to put them through that all over again wouldn't fair to them I have to agree with you that it's better to be safe than sorry. Listen to your intuition I don't think that you're being too cautious he has abandoned you without putting himself in your shoes and the kids shows and think about the impact it's possible that he wants to have guilt feelings soothed. |