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Title: Kindest/best way to break up? Post by: O.B.T.S. on March 15, 2018, 03:36:40 AM I'm in a relationship with a B.P.D. who is currently giving me the silent treatment again.
I'm thinking of breaking up, when my partner resumes contact, what's the best/kindest way of breaking up with a BPD sufferer IE: When my S.O. communicates again, do I 'ghost' myself, or do I say that all of the behaviour is unacceptable and that we need to go separate ways, or is there a no blame way of breaking up with a B.P.D.? Title: Re: Kindest/best way to break up? Post by: Mutt on March 15, 2018, 06:12:33 PM Hi O.B.T.S.,
*welcome* A pwBPD have a fear of aloneness it’s not to say that you can’t break up with a pwBPD just so that you’re aware. From my experience in the leaving board some members get split black you don’t hear from your owBPD for weeks, months and sometimes years or they’re relentless with trying to get back you, you’re split white. Maybe somone else can soeak for how to deliver it, I’d suggest if you’re breaking up with a pwBPD don’t point out all of the flaws, they’ll probably project it, you might split black, a owBPD has a very fragile ego. What specific behaviours are deal breakers for you? Title: Re: Kindest/best way to break up? Post by: once removed on March 15, 2018, 06:20:36 PM i havent done much in the way of breaking up with others.
i am a fan of a two fold approach. we have a PDF here: https://bpdfamily.com/pdfs/carver.pdf the general advice is to slowly pull away, be boring, uninteresting. im also a fan of let them down easy, especially in the case of BPD, where rejection sensitivity, abandonment, perceived slights, are a real risk. "its not you, its me". |