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Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) => Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship => Topic started by: Shedd on March 20, 2018, 12:10:33 AM



Title: Hoped I wouldn't be here so soon.
Post by: Shedd on March 20, 2018, 12:10:33 AM
Haha.

Here I am. Again... .

Well, this week is really hard for me.  My sister's birthday (who died) is today and the 22nd is my exes birthday, and my sisters day of death is the 25th.

Please someone help with this week!



Title: Re: Hope I wouldn't be here so soon.
Post by: babyducks on March 20, 2018, 04:43:26 AM
Hi Shedd,

It's okay to be sad and grieve.   These were significant people who meant a lot in your life.   They had a huge impact.    All of our feelings are okay.   Sometimes grief is complicated and raises other issues and that's okay too.

Can I ask, are you doing something to honor your sister?   It doesn't have to be a big thing, maybe a special meal that she would have liked?   Play a special song for her.    Rituals like that can help with grief and loss.

I am going to suggest that when you know it's going to be a tough week, to up your level of self care.    Deliberately and consciously do things that make you feel more comfortable every day this week.  Maybe a couple of times a day this week.   Again they don't have to be big things... .wear your comfortable shoes, treat yourself to an extra 15 minutes laying in bed, buy yourself the expensive blueberries at the market,   when faced with a choice make the one that give you just that touch more care and comfort. 

it will pay dividends.

'ducks


Title: Re: Hope I wouldn't be here so soon.
Post by: heartandwhole on March 20, 2018, 09:39:56 AM
Hi Shedd,

I'm sorry that this is such a hard week for you. 

I agree with babyducks:

Excerpt
I am going to suggest that when you know it's going to be a tough week, to up your level of self care.


Can you be extra gentle and pampering with yourself this week? What kinds of things will feel safe and nurturing for you?

We're here for you.

heartandwhole


Title: Re: Hope I wouldn't be here so soon.
Post by: Insom on March 21, 2018, 04:40:01 PM
Hi, Shedd!  

Hugs.     I hear you are having a very hard week.  How are you feeling today?


Title: Re: Hope I wouldn't be here so soon.
Post by: Shedd on March 22, 2018, 07:23:46 PM
Hey guys.

I’m doing all right. I’ve started working out again a couple weeks ago and have been focusing on that for myself. I’ve also been getting back into my art and it feels wonderful so I’ve been trying to focus on those things especially through this week.

As for celebrating my sister. We had a get together with my family on her birthday and on Sunday (the day of her death) were having a brunch at my house. My mom made one of her favorite dishes for her birthday.

So as sad as it is I had that low day, but I’m feeling pretty alright now. Thank you all!


Title: Re: Hope I wouldn't be here so soon.
Post by: Harley Quinn on March 23, 2018, 04:39:35 PM
Hi Shedd,

So glad to hear that your family are coming together and supporting one another at this difficult time.  It is wonderful to hear you describe the occasion as celebrating your sister.  That is exactly how I've treated marking the loss of family members.  Hope that Sunday gives you all a sense of peace as you come together to remember her.   

Love and light x