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I just received a msg from my 2.5y exBPDgf. It states the following: "Randomuser, our cat is missing you. I've talked with my bff(vet) about her behavior. Please come and visit her from time to time. I'll give you a copy of the keys and you don't even have to see me... ."

   It's been more than 2 months since she broke up with me and those 2 months were a chaos. Every discussion we had was actually her insulting me. Few days ago i just packed my last stuff from the house and went NC, deleted her from everywhere etc.
  She spent 2 months insulting me, hurting me and now she suddenly cares about the cat she hated. It has only been few days of NC from me.
  Far as I know she suffered a lot because of her break up decision. The last almost 3 months she drank herself to sleep everyday, barely having any sleep, slowly loosing her college and ruining her life overall.

  Is this her way of trying to get me back into her life or just to keep some strings of manipulation locked into me?

wow, that text is comedy gold   :) :) :)

i think it could be triangulation  

hope you dont mind me being upbeat about it, i couldnt help but laugh when i saw it. in honesty, if it isnt a really transparent way of excuse to contact you it could only be some high level of sarcasm?

Then again, it could be a valid point, what is the situation with the cat did you abandon it with her?

I intentionally gave a lot of personal trinkets and possessions to my ex knowing that it helps to soothe her when im not around but figured it would help her possibly for when I did shortly after go ghost mode and full NC with her.

A pet though is a bit different, what arrangements if any did you make about it.

you might want to come to some strong decision about it with her, but be aware of being side tracked into any other interactions?

Yes, Randomuser, that message seems like a pretty unsophisticated way to re-establish contact with you.

It's classic push/pull. You pushed (went no contact), she pulled (trying to pull you back).

I don't know your back story. Have you broken up before? Has she re-established contact in this type of way before?

I've been laughing myself for an hour when I saw the text.

We agreed that the cat(s) stay with her. It's the type of cat that doesn't care about anyone as long as she has food. She just sleeps all day and play with the other cat. So I would call this cat msg a a 99% bluff.
  We did broke up a year ago and I got triangulated, but she used the house as a 'reason' for me to come back and stay with her.

From my point of view one of the following is happening:
1. She wants to test the power of manipulation over me. She is using the cat thinking I'm weak and will accept it just to see her, and just procede into manipulating me emotionaly and sticking me into friendzone or something.
2. Seeing how f@#ed up she was for the past 2 months even if she tried to hide it, she's unable to move on. As i said, she drinks herself to sleep every night and she has done so for the past 2 months.

  I don't want to play her games. If it's no.1 and i re-establish contact it will show her that she still has power over me and I will just be tossed aside once more. No, thank you!
  If it's no.2 she might as well toss her ego for a second and admit she did a mistake

So... .do you respond at all?  That is big question.

Second question... .If I respond... what do I say?  (ohh... but there is a bigger more important question)


The purpose of my response is to?

The purpose of my non-response is to?

Gain clarity there... .the way forward will tend to take care of itself.

FF

I have to share a laugh here, too. As my STBXw was leaving me and telling me all of the reasons why we had to get divorced, she was insisting that I know about this new cat litter she bought that I would love and that as soon as she got home to her new apartment she would send me a picture.

She would insert comments about this cat litter within statements about our marriage ending and I was just looking at her like what are you even talking about?

Cat triangulation - now that's one I never even considered!