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Title: Wife has BPD Post by: Thisguy on March 25, 2018, 02:19:41 PM I have recently married to a woman who has BPD. We've been married 3 months now. Everything was great to start with. I had to leave home for my job. I've been gone since we got married. She stayed home. Since I've been gone, is when at the traits in the BPD came out. She's been diagnosed but she didn't show signs with me while I was home. I make double our outgoing bills. So the other half would be in savings. I make enough to support her, cover all the bills and still have plenty in the bank. We set up separate accounts even thou it hasn't helped. She has spend everything I make. I make sure the bills get paid but I've realized sending her money has been a problem. She spends like crazy and she won't listen when I try to tell her to save it. It's an argument with her everytime we talk about money. It was rough for a while there for a while because I knew when she would lie to me. She would give me the silent treatment for a few days then talk to me for a while. She would ignore my texts and phone calls for awhile. Then when she gets back to me, she would say her phone was broken. Or acting up. It's been a cycle. We would get along good for a week or two then it's right back to everything was a argument and she would ignore me again. When I don't send her money she would get mad at me and not speak to me. I have been patient with her. I've given her the benefit of the doubt. I've caught her in lies. What she tells me doesn't add up. She has no sense of reality when she gets in those moods. I've considered divorcing her, but I don't want to give up yet. I don't know if it will get better when I get back home. Any advice?
Title: Re: Wife has BPD Post by: Mutt on March 25, 2018, 08:22:46 PM Hi Thisguy,
*welcome* Id like to welcome you to bpdfamily. I’m sorry that you’re going through a difficult time while you’re away from work. I can’t speak for the money managent with your partner someone else will come along shortly and should be able to address that. Read as much as you can about the disorder you’ll quickly see the benefits and become proficient over time. A pwBPD fear abandonment real or imagined and will frantically try to avoid it. I think that your money matter is a different issue when she gets angry she doesn’t like it. I would set some boundaries. Setting Boundaries and Setting Limits (https://bpdfamily.com/content/setting-boundaries) |