BPDFamily.com

We reunited on FB 20 years after I lost touch with her and 30 years after I first met her in my neighborhood.

We dated very long distance (East Coast - West Coast) at first with week long visits in either direction and married 5 months later.

J

This current BPD, we've known each other since 1st grade.  We lost touch after 10th when we both transferred high schools, then reconnected on FB.  My first BPD bf, I met him in a country bar.  We tried to date but I broke it off early as he couldn't make enough time for me.  He continued to contact me periodically over the next 5 years.  Sometimes I would respond, sometimes not.  Then, he contacted me after a particularly bad breakup and it grew from there.  We were together for two years, then it took another 6 months to fully break up.  Even then, I didn't get him out of my life fully until 3 years later when he passed away.  During that time, I not only had to deal with him but his crazy girl friends. 

Online dating site. First and last time for me. I turned down advances from a few women on there because I saw big  red-flag’s in their communications.   

we had a mutual best friend. i liked her name. i could tell she was really funny. i saw pictures of her and felt i had to talk to her.

i did. there was something there, but it didnt pan out. she had an unresolved previous relationship. i kept a certain distance. we never met in person, just talked online or by phone. eventually, she got in a new relationship. i was happy for her, and she seemed happy. we kept in touch on and off over three years.

the last time we got back in touch i just went all in. drove to her apartment an hour away, never looked back.

We met online when I contacted him about a book he wrote.

At first, just pleasantries, although he started to flirt a bit. Didn’t think anything of it. Contacted him again a few years later to share something about a mutual community we were both involved in (I think... it’s been so long, I’m getting fuzzy).

Started getting friendly, progressed from there.

When we met in person, I realized the extent to which we can’t know people online (even when we interact with them in real time by video).

heartandwhole

In a bar.

Online dating site.  I was looking for just friends in the gay community.  I had just suffered a really hard breakup and was not looking to get involved again.

She posted that she was looking for “friends only” too.

She lied.  Big surprise.  She told me later that she was instantly attracted to me as soon as she laid eyes on me and right then and there knew that I was “the one.”

Guess I wasn’t.

It took me a good three months to develop real feelings for her.

Been NC one month today.  Feeling good!

As mentors for at-risk teens. We met the second year I did it.  At the back of my mind was finding a wife in volunteer work.  

In retrospect, and having observed two crops of mentors,  the adult mentors were either co-dependent Rescuer types, or Rescuer types with deep seated Daddy issues.  To be fair,  I had Mommy issues,  but not to the extreme I saw a few of the women.  We participated in most of the LGAT  (https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Large-group_awareness_training) exercises the youth did,  so we all got to know each other pretty well.  Only a couple of the mentors struck me as healthy:  mostly the older married adults.  

They wanted me to graduate from mentor to coach. I did briefly join a 3rd year to help produce/direct Camp, but that was it. When someone who went on the coach training trip to NYC gushed about it and said, "a lot of the techniques come from est (https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Erhard_Seminars_Training)" I was out. 

Can't fault that LGAT works,  however.  My uBPDx fell for it in a financial advisor pyramid scheme. 

I met mine at the home of a friend.

There's a lot of variety in this thread!

We met at one of the local watering holes. 

Used to love that place.  Now I hope it burns down.

Not really but wont go back.

A late night restaurant.

 Foursome I don't want to hope this of the restaurant because my ex has nothing to do with the good food I can still get there.