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Children, Parents, or Relatives with BPD => Son, Daughter or Son/Daughter In-law with BPD => Topic started by: MusicDad on March 27, 2018, 12:45:34 PM



Title: How do I encourage son to return home to get help?
Post by: MusicDad on March 27, 2018, 12:45:34 PM
  My son has been living w/ girlfriend half of the week and on the street the other half.  He has a phone and we have communication.  He admits that his perceptions and actions are not healthy and is aware and accepts his BPT Dx.  He says he loves this girl and when she graduates from cosmetology school in 2 months, they will both move back to the city I where I live.  The issue is he seems to be getting worse.  His thoughts and words are not making sense anymore.  I have tried to encourage him to come home and focus on taking care of himself and
and preparing to secure a job and an apartment so when his girl graduates she can join him and they won't both have to look for work without a place to live.  I can tell he knows it is good advice but he is so negative regarding mental health treatment.  I know I can't help someone that doesn't want help, but is there a better approach I can take to so I don't inadvertently push him away?


Title: Re: How do I encourage son to return home to get help?
Post by: Feeling Better on March 27, 2018, 01:27:20 PM
Hi again MusicDad

  I know I can't help someone that doesn't want help, but is there a better approach I can take to so I don't inadvertently push him away?
Yes, you are right, you cannot help someone who doesn’t want help.

You can support your son and let him know that you will always be there for him.

If you want to try a different approach you could take a look to the right   |---> THE LESSONS

Lesson 2. If your current approach is not working - change it

Do you think that is worth a try?



Title: Re: How do I encourage son to return home to get help?
Post by: Merlot on March 27, 2018, 07:08:56 PM
Hi Musicdad

So many parents here find themselves in a similar situation of seemingly fixing or rescuing our children. I have done this for my DD27. I paid a price of exhaustion, neglecting myself and husband and other things in my life. When I realised and tried to reclaim a bit of my life I became the worst person in the world and cut off.

I commend you in wanting the best for your son and guidance is so important. He will need to make those decisions for himself and my point was  also about looking after you which is also so important.

 It really is very confronting and you are doing your best.

Take care

Merlot