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I was just permanently painted black last week. My Gus Anam took all my personal possessions to my parents’ house when I wasn’t there. He had sent me a text telling me he didn’t love me anymore and I considered this the last straw. It has been months of ideation and devaluation and I can’t do it anymore but I feel sick. I miss himz

I am in exactly the same boat. I was being told that she loved me and loved coming home to my hugs and I was her happy ending about 5 weeks ago. I have been out of my home for 4 weeks now and she is projecting and saying some horrible things to me now. I am dealing with it really well but it is the hardest thing in the world. I just keep telling myself there is light at the end of the tunnel even the smallest light makes this darkness a little more bearable. 7 years 3 kids and a marriage all upside down now. But I am being hard on myself to detach from her and only contacting when it is my kids. I have written her a letter but I don’t think I will send it because they are my feelings and she would just rip it to pieces and use it to hurt me at the moment. Stay strong and be true to yourself concentrate on you and cut all contact if u can. It will be really painful but it will help you heal quicker in the long run. #onelove and also remember it is not your fault or even theirs it is a mental health condition.

First of all, as ugly as the ending was, you can never really be sure they will not return. From what I've read and as far as my own experiences go, most BPDexes end up returning/attempting contact.

Honestly the best advice I can give you would be to stay NC. 6 months ago my ex broke up with me to be with someone else, ending our 2 and a half year relationship. She suggested we stay friends, and we were for a few months while she saw her long distant partner. I strongly regret this. It was the worst period of my life. My general mood was dependent on whether or not she was talking to me/with her boyfriend. We had numerous falling-outs as I was still her emotional punching bag despite not being in a relationship with her.

It hasn't been a long time since I've spoken with her, but given the few weeks I've gone without talking to her (longest since I've known her) I can say that I feel significantly better and the best part is it's all uphill from here.

I wish I could've begun NC the moment she broke up with me. These few weeks have totally changed things.

I was so close into doing the same mistake. We've been together for 2 and half years and all of a sudden she drooped the bomb and wanting to be friends while she tests another relation. She was basically expecting me to continue to treat her like "my queen" while she gets the full freedom of a person not being in a relation. Even got angry and started calling me names when i refused this "awesome proposal".

great to hear you are making strong progress. life is too short to spend it with people that cause us unhappiness.

i had to put my ex as the centre of my universe, anything less wasnt acceptable. but when I did this, she then became the puppet master of my emotions and it was a far cry from pulling the strings in a way that would make someone feel it was worth it.

to the original poster: i can only confirm what others have said, not to assume anything from the melodramatic "i dont love you now, your out my life forever". these are childish statements that come from an emotionally arrested individual.

they may, or may not come back, but i disagree with your feeling that you have been "permanently" painted black.

rest assured that if they find themselves in desperate need of you, and there is no other available (to put up with their insanity), then you can find yourself loved again beyond forever and ever... .(until the next opportunist discard comes along).

i was put through this rinse cycle more than enough and despite now the longest period of NC, there have been instances of ex's shamelessly returning back YEARS later out of the woodwork.