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Title: Anyone make up future scenarios when separated Post by: Shawnlam on April 03, 2018, 04:41:40 PM I find that my sadness has gone and I’m in a anger stage now.With that said I keep making up these scenarios where if I met up with her again or she contacted me again what or how would I act with her? Now that I know much more on BPD and the fact that technically im dealing with an infant ,how it would go? I have a hard time seeing her as the beautiful woman I knew her as but more a small child.I kinda even feel a bit disgusted I slept with her knowing how immature her mind is?
I know it sounds stupid what I wrote above but it is what’s going through my mind... .I think my confidence is increasing daily and I’m feeling less like a fool the more I am learning about this disorder? I ordered both books walking on egg shells and codependency no more.By educating myself it feels like I’m putting back up defenses I never had and by doing this I’m forgiving myself for being so blind and stupid to all this s$&@ Title: Re: Anyone make up future scenarios when separated Post by: once removed on April 03, 2018, 05:10:06 PM i had a lot of future scenarios. its not unlike having a comeback after someone makes a dig at you. i had a lot of hypothetical arguments, too.
looking back, a lot of that was my response to feeling powerless over the outcome and my circumstances. Now that I know much more on BPD and the fact that technically im dealing with an infant youre not technically or figuratively dealing with an infant, shawn. shes the beautiful woman you knew her as, and shes also the person that broke your heart. its hard to hold both these views at the same time, i know. it was for me too. we are here to walk through this with you. Title: Re: Anyone make up future scenarios when separated Post by: Mutt on April 03, 2018, 06:10:28 PM By educating myself it feels like I’m putting back up defenses I never had and by doing this I’m forgiving myself for being so blind and stupid to all this s$&@ By educating yourself it will help you with the pain by separating yourself from her BPD behaviours and what you own in the r/s. Yours of and members have probably asked themselves why did she leave me, what did I do to deserve this, should have done _________ to save the r/s You can learn to depersonalize the behaviours by understand why she acts the way that she does it’s not personal it’s something that your ex pwBPD was going through. We’re not doctors we can’t diagnose mental illness don’t be hard on yourself Shawn for not spotting BPD. Heck even the professionals have a hard distinguishing it from other mental illnesses because it can be comorbid with many and the traits overlap other mental illnesses. Yes forgive yourself and don’t beat yourself up. |