BPDFamily.com

Like my life hasn't been hell long enough. I now get to deal with it being my fault too. Everything I have been reading (granted I have only been reading off and on for 3 days)  lays all this on my doorstep. They say it nicely but ... .heck I already feel beat up by life.  This is all that is coming out of my 31 yo D's mouth and now it's in all I read. Just feeling hurt and vulnerable. Most times I have to stop reading because I'm crying.
So I guess this is the "It gets worse before it gets better" part of heeling?

It's not fair that the blame seems to always fall on us moms and dads.  It might be that the research simply hasn't been funded so there are no quick answers, so we get the blame.  Not fair.  More important, not even true.

You're not completely alone, I'm here and so are a bunch of other parents in the same boat.  It is hell but for the fact you have this space to feel less vulnerable and more understood.  You deserve to feel better. 

Hope66,

     You are NOT ALONE! Hearing that when I came here for the first time helped, but it still didn't change the fact that I quickly became aware that I WAS THE ONE WHO HAD TO DO ALL THE CHANGING. I hated it, it's taken me a long time to stop comparing my daughter's trials in life with my own. I mean after all, my life was no picnic, I walked away with my share of issues. I spent a long time being mad at myself, her, the system. I couldn't find help any where.
     I'm so very sorry you are feeling vulnerable, beat up and hurt. Those are never pleasant emotions. This new world of learning about, living with, and dealing with BPD literally sucks! My daughter is 35, never a day went by without her saying I hate you. Yes there can be healing, for both of you. I know you're in crying mode right now but when you can I'd love to hear more about your situation. Sharing is the best way to keep isolation from over taking you.