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Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) => Romantic Relationship | Bettering a Relationship or Reversing a Breakup => Topic started by: Desperada on April 13, 2018, 09:01:32 PM



Title: Want my fiancé back
Post by: Desperada on April 13, 2018, 09:01:32 PM
I have been going to therapy for a couple years and my
Therapist says I attach BPD my fiancé and I have been together over a year and she met him and thinks he has BPD things have gotten really bad since our engagement and we fight daily. I love him
And want to be with him but I can’t keep walking on eggshells s I don’t know how to talk to him without it becoming a fight and him getting anry to the point I’m in tears. Is there a way to communicate in a way that he won’t feel I’m
Attacking or blaming him? I
Is it want my fiancé back


Title: Re: Want my fiancé back
Post by: CryWolf on April 13, 2018, 11:24:32 PM
Hey Desperada, 

Id first like to welcome you to our family here. This place will help you learn and understand about yourself, and your partner. There are tools located on the top of the page where it says "tools" that will help immensely with your relationship.
 Please look up jading and how to prevent this.
https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=139972.0 (https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=139972.0)
https://bpdfamily.com/content/ending-conflict (https://bpdfamily.com/content/ending-conflict)
https://bpdfamily.com/content/communication-skills-dont-be-invalidating (https://bpdfamily.com/content/communication-skills-dont-be-invalidating)

Please check out these three links first as I think they are phenomenal tools.

Please post any questions or thoughts if you are unsure about the tools. We will do our best here to help you.

When was your engagement if you don't mind me asking? Sometimes becoming close with a BPD triggers either a fear of engulfment or a fear of abandonment. As people with BPD suffer with being too close or too far away from the ones they love most.

Keep posting, and check out other members posts on here. You will be shocked on how majority of users on here have similar stories. Also, it can be easy to apply everyones situation to yours but please do your best to stray from this, as not every person with BPD is the same.

Best wishes,
CryWolf


Title: Re: Want my fiancé back
Post by: Harri on April 13, 2018, 11:27:53 PM
Hi.  I also want to welcome you here.  CryWolf gave you some great links to start with.  As you read and post more at this site you will find that you are not alone and that there are many people who have been in the same spot and the communication tools helped them make things better for themselves and in turn helped their relationship.

I'm glad you found us.  This is a great place to get lots of support and understanding.