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Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) => Romantic Relationship | Conflicted About Continuing, Divorcing/Custody, Co-parenting => Topic started by: juju2 on April 22, 2018, 07:20:15 PM



Title: Should acknowledge stuff about the work he did on our house
Post by: juju2 on April 22, 2018, 07:20:15 PM
Hi family

My s.o, separated march 4, 2017.

He did a ton of work on our house, I never acknowledged it.

He did work, I covered expenses.
Somehow we never discussed this exchange.

We were bad communicators.

I am working a 12 step program, and feel compelled to acknowledge his contribution

I know you guys are the best place to run things by.

Do you all think it's a good idea to acknowlege the contributions.

Two weeks ago I acknowledged him for being a good role model to my d22, and he brushed it off, you already said that.   Pppffffft.



So I reach out to you, if I should acknowledge stuff about the work he did on our house.


Thank you,
J


Title: Re: Should acknowledge stuff about the work he did on our house
Post by: NGU on April 24, 2018, 04:03:13 PM
Hi Juju.

My initial reaction is that you should let it go.

The reasons are
--you're separated
--you're doing this for you (12 step)
--he might just blow you off again, which will make you feel bad

That said, if you'll feel worse by not acknowledging his efforts, and you can handle another verbal rejection, what would be wrong with trying to put a little more positivity out there?

Now if this was you tracking someone down and admitting to something terrible you did so you can apologize, now that's an entirely different discussion. But this a purely positive "thank you."

-ngu


Title: Re: Should acknowledge stuff about the work he did on our house
Post by: Mutt on April 24, 2018, 10:00:11 PM
Hi juju,

You’ve been seperated for a year I don’t think that there’s a rush I’d suggest to think about for a few days and see if you feel differently then?