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Title: Trauma Response? Post by: vwbug on April 28, 2018, 06:55:06 PM Hi all. I'm wondering if anyone can relate to this:
Often when I see a relationship related meme, or even read something about relationships I get slightly panicky. For instance, I saw something on FB saying something along the lines of: "It's okay to have needs in a relationship." I get the point of the post but all I think about is how this would have been used against me by my BPDx - see, I'm not being too needy, you should meet all of my needs, etc. Maybe a different way of saying this is: whenever I see something about relationships I can't help but filter it through my last two relationships and I have an anxious response. I've realized that this is probably normal - I'm still recovering from traumatic experiences and so to have a trauma response makes sense. Just wondering if anyone else can relate? Thanks! Title: Re: Trauma Response? Post by: Turkish on April 28, 2018, 11:42:59 PM Out of curiosity, I click on a few friend requests. I see similar things. Marylin Monroe memes are a major red-flag to me. I only have about 50 FB friends. 95% people I've met in real life. Yes, such thinks cause me to think as you do. My ex has a recurring profile pic of a male lion saying "you're magnificent" with a link to a self-improvement website. It telegraph a lot, at least to me.
Title: Re: Trauma Response? Post by: gotbushels on May 01, 2018, 08:06:16 AM Hi vwbug
Just wondering if anyone else can relate? Thanks! Yes, I do. ... .I get the point of the post but all I think about is how this would have been used against me by my BPDx - see, I'm not being too needy, you should meet all of my needs, etc. I very strongly relate to this. I think the relationship between my UexpwBPDGF and I was highly enmeshed, to the point where I'd share everything--that didn't help.She would trigger upon a variety of things, and social media posts like you mentioned were included. Being in constant "hypervigilance" mode, I would then "foresee" what she'd dysregulate on--then my body seemed to experience it as though to prepare for the issue. It's very uncomfortable (and increases with quantity of issues) and the feeling would usually stick around for a long time. It takes a while to go away, but it will go away. I think it's like a habit. It helps to see that what happens in you--similar to what happened to me--is a conditioned response while in that relationship. If you're mostly 99% severed off the relationship, and have a plan for the 1% eventualities, then you can ease yourself into knowing you don't need the conditioning anymore. To help this along you might want to practice mindfulness (https://bpdfamily.com/content/triggering-and-mindfulness-and-wise-mind) at those times and get a T's support. Those both could help you a lot. :) I look forward to your sharing and I hope you enjoy your peace. Title: Re: Trauma Response? Post by: Insom on May 04, 2018, 10:37:41 AM Hi, vwbug.
Excerpt I've realized that this is probably normal - I'm still recovering from traumatic experiences and so to have a trauma response makes sense. Just wondering if anyone else can relate? It's normal to feel traumatized by traumatic experiences! FWIW, I experienced undiagnosed PTSD symptoms for a few years after leaving my ex. Excerpt Often when I see a relationship related meme, or even read something about relationships I get slightly panicky. For instance, I saw something on FB saying something along the lines of: "It's okay to have needs in a relationship." I get the point of the post but all I think about is how this would have been used against me by my BPDx - see, I'm not being too needy, you should meet all of my needs, etc. It sounds like some of the stuff you're seeing on the internet is reminding you of how you felt around your ex. Would it be fair to say you felt judged for having needs and/or not being able to meet your partner's needs? |