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Title: UnBPD MIL - BPD & aging/self-neglect Post by: Poopiepearl on May 06, 2018, 01:24:30 PM Hi all. New to forum.
Apologies if this has been answered in a prior post - but I do have a question. Kinda long... . I do think that my MIL has BPD. She meets all the requirements in the Dsmv to a tee; huge abandonment issues, manipulative, black and white thinking, impulsivity (binge eater, morbid obesity, spending), disassociation, temper tantrums (usually directed at me or other DIL). I will spare all the nasty things she has done and said to me. I have limited contact with her & use grey rock when I am around her. In the past year DH & I, as well as other family members, have noticed a drastic change in her. With her obesity, she has a plethora of medical issues; leg lymphedema that limits her mobility, diabetes and heart disease. Just recently we found out, she is not taking her meds properly and delaying med appointments. She does not eat according to what the doctor advised (she drinks a 2 liter bottle of coke in one day). The few times that I have visited her, I can tell that bathing and bodily hygiene is not a priority at all. She smells horrible, her hair appears oily and unkempt, the gown she had on appears to have NOT been removed for a very long time. It was littered with caked on food and drink. Literally her body odor is so bad, that I can’t be in the same room with her. We will be moving back to our home state in a month & will be closer to her (God help me). DH will try to address those issues with her (God help him). I have heard about this senior squalor syndrome or self neglect. Is this common with BPD, especially BPD in the elderly? She does not have any type of hoarding issues. She still appears to have most of her mental faculties - well she might have BPD so... . Thanks. Title: Re: UnBPD MIL - BPD & aging Post by: Turkish on May 08, 2018, 08:49:21 PM Minus the hoarding my mom became like this. She reeked of smoke, mildew, animal waste from her Hoard home. She'd get angry if anyone brought it up.
Self neglect to the degree you describe may be bad enough to require professional intervention by a social worker from Adult Protective Services. You might start by making an anonymous call to a local agency for guidance. Given she's your husband's mother, it would be good to get him on board. In a similar vein, my T told me, "you have a home not a hospital, and your mother requires professional help that you can't provide." From: www.napsa-now.org/get-informed/other-safety-concerns-2/ Excerpt These are commonly reported signs of self-neglect* reported to Adult Protective Services agencies: Inadequate heating, plumbing or electrical service disconnected Pathways unclear due to large amounts of clutter Animal feces in home Residence is extremely dirty, filled with garbage, or very poorly maintained Not cashing monthly checks Needing medical care, but not seeking or refusing Lacking fresh food, possessing only spoiled food, or not eating Refusing to allow visitors into residence Giving away money inappropriately Dressing inappropriately for existing weather conditions * Definitions of self-neglect vary from jurisdiction to jurisdiction. Please contact your local APS office for additional information. When To Report Other Safety Concerns and Self-Neglect? If you witness a life-threatening situation involving a senior or adult with disabilities, immediately call 911. Contact your local Adult Protective Services agency anytime you observe the following: Appearing disheveled, routinely in soiled and/or rumpled clothing Appearing with strong odor of feces or urine Displaying matted or lice-infected hair Appearing malnourished and/or dehydrated Appearing inappropriately attired for climate Living with serious untreated medical conditions and refusing treatment Living in squalor, dilapidated building or other hazardous situations Challenging to safely exit or enter residence due to hoarding/cluttering In reading this, I should have reported my own mother at least two years before. I whimped out thinking my mother would never forgive me. I got a call from a sheriff's deputy who saw the conditions and encouraged him to report. So trust me, I get it if you have any hesitancy to go down this path... . Title: Re: UnBPD MIL - BPD & aging/self-neglect Post by: Mutt on May 08, 2018, 10:28:40 PM Hi,
*welcome* I’d like to join Turkish and welcome you to bpdfamily I can’t soeaj for your post but as you can already see others can relate with you and offer you guidance. Welcome! |