BPDFamily.com

So I've not been on here since around the middle of last year. I had just split from my exwBPD who I work with and I was very confused about everything that happened especially when she was already with someone she had cheated with. I finally cut contact from her and moved on. Strangely I went from feeling depressed and obsessing over her to feeling nothing overnight. I didn't talk to her at all for quite some time, other than when we needed to for work. During this time I found that she had also been carrying on a relationship with a guy from work she said was a good friend she'd known for a long time and that she ended up destroying his marriage as revenge which, if I'm honest, made me relieved that I had got out lightly.

Unfortunately recently we've started talking again. I ended up sat at work with her about two months ago and there was a bit of friendly flirting although I kept my distance as she had moved in with her boyfriend. We then started texting and she started taking every break at work/coming in early to catch me on my break so we could chat. I tried to keep my distance a bit but it wasn't long till we were flirting like crazy and her relationship had "broken down" because her boyfriend was apparently jealous about me.

Nothing had ever happened between us until we went out with work at the weekend and we spent the whole night all over each other. We didn't end up having sex but there was some kissing and a lot of touching. When she got back she video called me naked and did some stuff over video. We've been talking still since and flirting but nothing else has happened. She has been a little hot and cold, blocking my number or stopping talking because "her ex checks through her phone" but then being very flirty again the next minute.

I don't feel too bothered by anything and I really don't want this to go anywhere. I have enjoyed speaking to her again, having the attention from her and flirting with her but there's already signs of her playing games (blocking me on Facebook/Snapchat because her ex kicked off at her for talking to me/walking into the kitchen at work, sitting at a different table, talking across the table to me then texting me to "come here" as soon as she walks out of the room/flirting like crazy with me when we're together then going incredibly cold via text afterwards).

I also don't believe a word she says and believe that she's stirring up trouble with her ex when she's talking to me and I think that I got off lightly last time. She's destroyed the marriage of other guy I work with and has now become best friends with her new ex's ex-girlfriend and convinced her to stop him seeing his daughter. I feel like if I get involved with her again she will end up going the same way with me and can do without more drama!

I'm not sure I want any answer to this... .I think I just want to put this down in words so I can come back and look at it before I make any more bad decisions with her!

Although if someone can give me some advice on how to keep her at arms length without making her want to ruin my life as well... .I'd appreciate it!

My two cents? Leave it alone. You've seen the damage first hand, you got away unscathed once. What are you thinking man?

I don't want to completely cut her out again, I just don't want to get too involved with her. I do enjoy a bit of the flirting and she can be nice to talk to sometimes - which is always nice to have at work. Although with even the slightest interest she started turning up at work early to see me and coming to see me on every single break.

You're probably right.

From my experience, it seems like it’s all or nothing with these people. I think maintaining a friendship would be a tightrope act; she’d constantly try and pull you in closer so she could push you away when she felt like it.

It comes down to whether you’re looking for an emotionally stable dependable woman in your life, or if you want an exciting but dangerous fling with an unreliable emotionally damaged individual.

It seems like you're right. When we went through the breakup she'd tell me she wanted to be friends, then get annoyed if she thought I was talking to any other women. We'd talk about staying friends at work then she'd start phoning me during the night and asking to come round to mine even though she had a new boyfriend.

There are a lot of things about her I do like... .but I'm already starting to notice the things about her that annoyed me when we were together. She rang me 7 times last night and spent hours on the phone... and I don't even really know what we spoke about.

And considering how bad our break up was, I'm already feeling a little strange about how everything that happened seems to have been completely forgotten about and it's almost like we never broke up.

Personally, I like the flirting and I'm not going to deny that I like the attention from her. But I don't want everything that comes with it. I'd much rather we went back to just speaking as friends and keeping our distance from each other. But at this stage I don't think that's possible... .or that it ever really could be.