BPDFamily.com

It's been about 3 year since I joined this group, during that time I read many similar stories and gain tremendous insight. My BPD ex left me and our newborn daughter, I was crushed mentally and physically, financially on the verge of collapse and alone being responsible for a child. While dealing with this tragedy my ex was with a new guy immediately out at the bar and enjoying her life as if the 4 years we were together never happened. She showed no remorse, no pity and took absolutely no responsibility for our child. With the knowledge I gained from bpdfamily and understanding the situation I focused on my daughter and myself while having minimal contact with my ex. She ended up cheating on the guy she cheated on me with (his best friend) and since has convinced herself and everyone else she has been madly in love with 4 other guys since. The whole time she gave me hope we could be back together, she would need me just to see if I would jump to her assistance and I always have. Despite me being supportive she would never allow herself to have a relationship with me or our daughter. After a while things just sat in limbo, I continued to focus on my daughter and myself while she continued to jump from failed relationship to relationship. Despite me  doing the right thing nothing seed to get better. She would explode on me and my daughter, twist the truth and make herself the victim while it was us she was hurting and seemingly enjoying her life. I've heard BPDs have the ability to lie in court and file false PFAs (protection from abuse orders) but never thought my ex would do such a thing and never gave her a reason to. Well I was wrong on Easter morning I was served with a PFA by police at my home. Because I'm a paramedic and work with sick and injured people incapable of protecting themselves i was suspended from work and awaiting a trial to defend myself from the allegations. The judge expected I would just agree to the PFA and have my rights infringed upon but I demanded a trial to clear my name. After presenting my side and her inability to prove her accusations it was thrown out and the PFA was dismissed. I'm grateful the judge was very knowledgeable on constitutional law and dismissed the case and looking back I'm grateful it all happened. Despite her lying, cheating, making me out to be the bad guy and being abusive towards me and our daughter I always forgave her and chalked it up to her illness. Since the false allegations and attempts to ruin my career I have finally realized she is a truly hateful and evil person that I want nothing to do with. Now that she lost in court she is being very nice and trying to regain my trust and giving me hints that she would like to get back together. < never going to happen. Its liberating and I'm confident that despite a bad relationship in the past that I will continue to improve myself and be the best dad I can be. Sorry for any grammatical errors , i just wanted to thank BPD family and give hope to others dealing with a BPD ex in this update.

Hi BrokenFamily,

Thanks for posting your update and sharing the message of hope for others to read.  What a rollercoaster you've been on.  How are you and your daughter doing these days and how much contact do you now have with her mother?  Visitation?

Love and light x

Hi Broken Family,

I remember your story. That must of been a really difficult scenario to go trhrough. I’m happy that you checked in and gave us an update. Take really good care of yourself.

You refocused your energies on your daughter and recovery. Wonderful. You helped when you could. I did the same. And, now she’s sending signals that she’s better and wants you back. Amazing isn’t it? Its as if the heartache, cruelties, lies, despair, and subsequent chaos they created never happened. I’m dealing with something similar. I want her to be happy, healthy, and stable but don’t have a hint of desire or need to open that door even a sliver. Good for you! 

The sad thing is so many people here do not realize the propensity and depth of the ability for people with BPD to flip (it is not evil it is just unbounded by morays and often from there perspective perceived as doing good)  time and again people are surprised by the unremarkable,


A word to the wise.
if they can get away with it they will do just about anything.