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Children, Parents, or Relatives with BPD => Parent, Sibling, or In-law Suffering from BPD => Topic started by: Vanilla Sky on May 15, 2018, 12:17:44 PM



Title: Responding to “Borderline” Provocations
Post by: Vanilla Sky on May 15, 2018, 12:17:44 PM
Hi there 

It's been a while I haven't posted here. I am going through a hard time now with my uBPD mother. She has been yelling, fighting, violently attacking my dad (enabler) and trying everything to get me back to the Caretaker role. Fortunately, I am still seeing a therapist every other week and have been reading about how to protect myself.

Today I am here to recommend this reading to anyone that has a borderline person in their life. I wish I had read this before.
It is a brilliant article from Dr. David M. Allen on how to respond the provocations from the borderline person.



Responding to “Borderline” Provocations—Part I
Reacting to someone with borderline personality disorder is a challenge
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/matter-personality/201311/responding-borderline-provocations-part-i (https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/matter-personality/201311/responding-borderline-provocations-part-i)

Responding to “Borderline” Provocations—Part II How NOT to Respond
How to succeed at feeling helpless with someone with borderline personality
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/matter-personality/201312/borderline-provocations-how-not-respond (https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/matter-personality/201312/borderline-provocations-how-not-respond)

Responding to “Borderline” Provocations – Part III
Effective “countermoves” to typical "borderline” provocations
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/matter-personality/201401/responding-borderline-provocations-part-iii (https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/matter-personality/201401/responding-borderline-provocations-part-iii)


Responding to “Borderline” Provocations Part IV
Specific countermeasures to the usual strategies in the BPD bag of tricks used to distance and/or invalidate you, as well as to make you feel anxiously helpless, anxiously guilty, or hostile.

BPD provocation #1:  Exaggerated over-genereralizations and wild accusations.
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/matter-personality/201403/responding-borderline-provocations-part-iv (https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/matter-personality/201403/responding-borderline-provocations-part-iv)


Responding to “Borderline” Provocations Part V
BPD provocation #2: Escalating demands on you to do more and more to make them feel better, when absolutely nothing you do or offer seems to help.
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/matter-personality/201403/responding-borderline-provocations-part-v (https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/matter-personality/201403/responding-borderline-provocations-part-v)


Responding to “Borderline” Provocations Part VI
BPD provocation #3, their use of seemingly illogical statements and absurd arguments.
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/matter-personality/201405/responding-borderline-provocations-part-vi (https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/matter-personality/201405/responding-borderline-provocations-part-vi)


Responding to “Borderline” Provocations Part VII: Parasuicidality
Here are some things to know about suicide threats and self injuring in BPD
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/matter-personality/201406/borderline-provocations-part-vii-parasuicidality (https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/matter-personality/201406/borderline-provocations-part-vii-parasuicidality)


Responding to "Borderline" Provocations: Last Part
What to do when none of the previous interventions seem to decrease the negative or angry responses of the family member with BPD, and what to do when you yourself blow your cool and react with a nasty comment.
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/matter-personality/201410/responding-borderline-provocations-last-part (https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/matter-personality/201410/responding-borderline-provocations-last-part)