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Children, Parents, or Relatives with BPD => Son, Daughter or Son/Daughter In-law with BPD => Topic started by: Mamadukes on May 21, 2018, 12:31:03 PM



Title: not "rescuing" when it's an important appointment
Post by: Mamadukes on May 21, 2018, 12:31:03 PM
Hi Dear People,

I haven't been here in quite a while. In the meantime, I will mention that I have completed the NEABPD's Family Connections 12-wk course, which I HIGHLY recommend. Life altering! https://www.borderlinepersonalitydisorder.com/family-connections/ (https://www.borderlinepersonalitydisorder.com/family-connections/).

Last night my son had a disastrously violent episode. My question this afternoon is how to reconcile not-rescuing (taking care of his business) in a situation that seem crucially important -- where there is a lot at stake for both of us and it does not seem possible for me to step back and let things unfold. He has a second appointment with a new psychiatrist this afternoon (which, after last night, I will ask to attend with him). His treatment (and recovery work) have lapsed since he started a new job two months ago (going very well)... .and there have been at least three seriously violent episodes in that time.

I will encourage him to get up in time for this appointment, but I am arranging my life around that this afternoon. He does not respond well to alarm clocks, especially after a drinking binge. I don't see how we can tolerate any further delay in getting back to treatment.
Thoughts?

Thank you,
MamaD.


Title: Re: not "rescuing" when it's an important appointment
Post by: Huat on May 21, 2018, 05:53:11 PM
Hi Marmadukes

Indeed, you are between a rock and a hard place.  It is difficult to back off when you know this is an important appointment for your son to go to today... .a new psychiatrist... .especially important since his current mood is not stable.

When you write that "there have been at least 3 seriously violent episodes"... .are you ever in danger?

I sincerely hope all goes well today... .that he goes... .and you are able to sit in with him.  Waiting to hear how things went.

So good to read that you completed the Family Connections course and that you found it "life altering."  Good that you are here, too. |iiii

Thinking of you, Mamadukes, and sending along a ((HUG).

Huat


Title: Re: not "rescuing" when it's an important appointment
Post by: wendydarling on May 21, 2018, 08:46:45 PM
Hey Marmadukes  

Whoa, we've missed you, lovely bean!  (bean is term of endearment in our house, family, friends)
Are you going through progression, regression points? Big changes back and forth? Please share more when you are able. I went with my gut instinct, felt my daughter out, always - that's my advice to you.

MD are you safe?

WDx