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Title: How Do you survive the bad days? Post by: 2609am on June 01, 2018, 06:01:00 AM Currently been with/ in my partners life for 10 months. she told me quite early on in our relationship that she suffered with mental health problems has multiple issues including BPD, Physcosis anxiety, Minor PTSD She is the most incredible girl in the world, I love her with all my heart and the good days and times in are incredible but the bad ones are horrific. I feel like since Ive been in her life she has made massive improvements in herself personally and with her life which leads me to think my presence in her life has been positive. Some days I just feel lost and struggle in knowing what to do to help or how to go about things as I feel like whatever I do sometimes just doesen't help. I feel helpless.
She is currently not recieving treatment or taking medication. I dont know how to broach the situation with her or what to do about this either. Sometimes I just feel so alone and when we have good days I completely forget that theres anything wrong. Then the bad days come and it hits me like an atomic bomb, she will say such horrible and hurtful things and throw accusations at me that I dont love her and she is going to cheat on me and just puts me down. I leave it and wake up the next day to messages that she is sorry that she doesent deserve me and I dont know how to go about lessening the bad days or how to help her. I know she loves me but I know at the same time to her loving someone just means upset and hurt and the closer I get to her the more she pushes me away but then as soon as she has she pulls me back and I reassure her constantly about how much I love her and that no matter what this wont change. This is the first time I have sought some help I dont know whether I would benefit from some therapy or whether to suggest to her I go along with her if she were to consider this. any help or advice would be greatly appreciated. Title: Re: How Do you survive the bad days? Post by: pearlsw on June 01, 2018, 06:32:20 AM Hi 2609am,
*welcome* to the family! Well, one upside of this being early in your relationship is that you haven't spent many years totally confused as to what has been happening! Has she ever had therapy or expressed an interest in getting some? Or interest in medication? It is typically advised not to tell a partner we think they have these issues, but in your case, it seems she's self-disclosed and so you seem to have an in to conversations around these issues. Also, about medication, it may help, but it may not be enough. You just have to see. My SO takes medication and it got my hopes up a bit, but he is really just the same, only perhaps less depressed and suicidal, but now he drinks a lot, sleeps a lot, and is still very difficult at times... .and all this is better than before believe it or not! Those atomic bomb times are indeed horrible, I hear ya! If you take the time to read the lessons to the right of the board and on other pages as well you will have a better handle on this. It really is about be willing to examine your own issues and communication skills and doing a bit of a rebuild whether or not your partner is able to do so. If she is, great, but if not, you can still do a lot from your side of things. Sounds like the typical push/pull, abandonment issues many of us deal with. Oh, how painful it is to watch and bear the brunt of. I know it is absolutely painful to see my SO struggle the way he does. Keep posting and sharing and supporting others. This can be a great place on those especially dark days when it can feel like you are alone! You aren't! We're here! with compassion, pearl. |