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Title: Stay silent or validate? Post by: vm87 on June 09, 2018, 10:26:13 PM When your BPD Partner is ghosting/withdeawal and has told you he needs time alone to get out of 'the cycle' and 'brain playing tricks' I usually send validating messages every few days.
But is it best to back off stay silent and let them come to you? Title: Re: Stay silent or validate? Post by: Turkish on June 09, 2018, 10:37:02 PM Tough place in which to be.
Every few days sounds alright, rather than text bombing as pwBPD can do. How are your communications? Shorter is usually better. Like "hey, how are you doing today?" Title: Re: Stay silent or validate? Post by: vm87 on June 09, 2018, 11:10:35 PM Tough place in which to be. Every few days sounds alright, rather than text bombing as pwBPD can do. How are your communications? Hey Turkish... Usually i text every 2 - 3 days. it has been a week now because in the last texts he told me he was 'getting into the cycle again' confused about feelings with an ex girlfriend. i sent the validating and supporting texts because I could see he was in his emotional state. It has been exactly a week now and i am not doing what I usually do. I miss him however him being confused about his ex has hurt me I want him to come to me... . Title: Re: Stay silent or validate? Post by: Turkish on June 09, 2018, 11:50:06 PM How has his ex hurt you, that he told you he contacted her?
A week is enough space. A "how are you doing?" Text seems valid to me. Title: Re: Stay silent or validate? Post by: vm87 on June 12, 2018, 06:31:05 AM How has his ex hurt you, that he told you he contacted her? A week is enough space. A "how are you doing?" Text seems valid to me. Thanks Turkish. I took your advice and got a reply... a few back and forth and he asked some questions how i am... but has retreated again and is being silent... . i am thinking to give him some more space |