BPDFamily.com

Just a quick story about BPD "love"

My ex wife aboandoned her first family.   2 young children and a husband. She had excellent stories as to why she did this. How it was necessary.  Best for the kids etc. so when I met her, I believed her.  Everyone believes her. She is an excellent manipulator.

So she left and signed away 100 percent of rights to her children. (Slowly find out all details over course of a year). So for about a year and a half I helped her in all ways get rights to her children back, which is hard to do.  Her ex lived in a different state as well. It was stressful.  Me reasearching, planning, talking to lawyers, paper work etc. it consumed much of our lives.

Then finally she got a decent parenting plan. My son and her kids spent all summer together.  They formed a bond.  We all had a great time.

Come Christmas break her kids are supposed to fly into our city. I changed my plan as well so that the dates match up with all of our kids.  Up until late November she is telling my son, and her kids all the fun we will have.

A week before Christmas I hear her daughter on the phone saying "hey mom. When are you flying in".  My wife was leaving us for the holidays to go across the country and didn't even care to tell me.  This led to arguments.

So my wife stayed at her moms for 2 days.

During those 2 days my wife met a stranger on Craigslist who also had teo kids. My wife then had her kids fly in, but then stayed with the new "step dad". Just like that.  Turns out the man was a con artistpretending to be a millionaire  and ended up stealing 15 k from my wife.  And that relationship lasted 3 weeks. Her kids screwed up.  I was hurt.  My son hurt. Her ex husband thinks she is even crazier for doing that.  Etc.  

So there is just a disconnect somewhere.  How can someone "love you" and simply turn off and do that. ?

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Split from https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=325679

Hey Husband321, I hear your frustration.  It's pretty certain that those w/BPD perceive love differently than most of us Nons.  What is your current status with your W?  Are you together/apart?  Separated/Divorcing?  Since you are here on the Detaching Board, I assume that you are in the process of leaving, or have already left?  How is your detaching coming along?  What can we help you with?  Fill us in, when you can.

LuckyJim

Hi Husband321,

I'm sorry to hear that. It must of been really difficult and disappointing after spending an entire summer together. BPD is lack of impulse control and thoughts and consequences of their actions, did she have a history of this with her ex? It's not really important it has to be really confusing and hurtful to you. You spent a lot of time to get things sorted out for her with her kids - it sounds like you're a really nice guy.