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Since October my ex has made 5 allegations about me either to the police, CPS or an agency that referred to CPS.

She has changed tack, and this time made workplace bullying and harassment allegations. We work for the same organisation, although I haven't seen her since we separated almost 4 years ago; and I have never had any other contact with her at work.

I was interviewed and also had to provide a written statement. Five days later, matter closed.

The allegations were serious enough to end my career.

Now just waiting for the next allegations.

In addition, last week someone reactivated and hijacked my deactivated Facebook and Instagram accounts. The person then searched for anything with my name on them - search histiry shows in the FB data file I downloaded. I imagine it was my ex. I have reported to the Police. No posts were made.

Really sorry you have having to deal with this, this must be really frustrating... .we can provide you support.


What does this mean?  If the matter is closed... .how did it affect your career?

FF

Thanks. Yes, matter closed. No further action, no impact on my employment.

Sorry to see you back... .same garbage, different day. 

The good news is no one is buying the garbage, she's not getting any traction.  The bad news is that the drama and stress for you continues.

Hopefully, she will get enough avenues blocked or decisions against her that she will run out of ways to do this stuff.

What do things look like between you, her, and the kids these days?  What does communication look like (if any) and how are your kids doing?  For that matter how are you doing?  This stuff has to be so exhausting 

Panda39

Yes, same old garbage. I feel quite ashamed that loads of private things have been aired at work.  This is the sixteenth set of allegations in just under four years. I guess thinks will continue like this until after the court hearings in Sept and Oct this year. I hope that things improve and she eventually stops making allegations.

Good that you survived, I had the impression you'd lost your career because of her.

I wonder, did her failed allegations result in her receiving a warning or note in her file that one more infraction could result in termination.  Maybe they wouldn't tell you.  No business or HR wants conflict at work or between employees.

Thanks. And apologies... .it was a badly worded sentence. If her allegations had been upheld they would have ended my job, and I would have been referred to my professional body. Luckily it only got as far as an informal interview and me providing a written statement... .It didn't progress to a formal investigation.

Yes, a good point about the risk to her.  A similar point was made by some friends. It shines a bad light on her.

My employer has offered counselling, which is supportive.

How many allegations were founded... .or had enough there to have a full investigation?

That's a big number.  I would hope it's big enough for the employer to take action.

I would specifically ask you L if you guys can petition to have her get "approval" before filing any more allegations.

We were able to get a condition like that put on a legal pest... .after 4 allegations/filings.

Something to look into.

FF

Thanks FF.

16... .In which there were two police investigations- case closed, no further action. Three further reports to police- 2x they came to my house, case closed no further action. Up until October last year she had a 50% success rate at getting CPS to investigate, although all cases closed, no further action. Since last October, 5 allegations- one to police, four either to CPS or an agency that subsequently referred to CPS- all referrals not accepted, no investigation. Now my employer, no further action.

I'm in the UK. Doesn't seem much I can do.

To make matters more chaotic, colleagues advised me that last year she did a tabloid article about her sex life with her boyfriend... .Including photos of them both... .and she used her married name, despite changing to her maiden name almost immediately we separated.

Yeah... UK... got it.

It's worth it to get a firm opinion from a lawyer (don't you guys say "barrister" ... .and make sure you understand your best legal recourse... given the law.

FF