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Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) => Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship => Topic started by: I_Am_The_Fire on June 13, 2018, 10:04:07 AM



Title: Seemingly Conflicting Behavior
Post by: I_Am_The_Fire on June 13, 2018, 10:04:07 AM
I'm struggling to find answers for this. I'm hoping someone here may be able to help until I can talk to my therapist about it next week.

My ex is more than likely uNPD\uBPD. My 12yo daughter was diagnosed with ADHD some years ago. Sometimes I wonder if she is also BPD based on her behavior that reminds me of her father at times. Although it could be chalked up to pre-teen stuff. My ex was tested for Asperger's a few years ago and if I remember right the results were either negative or "close but not really". ADHD seems to run in his family. His younger sister was diagnosed with it as were both her children. Sometimes I wonder if he's ADHD as well.

Anyway, I noticed recently that my daughter and her father both seem to thrive on anything "new and exciting". It's like they need almost constant new stimulation. She wants to rent new movies often, to go to new places often, to buy new things but gets bored very quickly afterwards, to be entertained as often as possible, etc. Her father is the same way. He buys and rents new movies often. He buys new vehicles every two years or so. He buys the latest tech gadgets. He gets the newest, best sound system for the house and his vehicle, replacing it often when something "better" comes out. He likes to go out often (especially restaurants). He changes jobs every couple of years as well. He also moves every couple of years, either to a new house in the city or a new city or a new state. We were together for almost twenty years. In that time, we moved 11 times which involved moving to three states. He's always seemed restless to me. I would describe my daughter as being restless as well which I know is part of ADHD.

However, they both will also watch the same movie or TV show repeatedly as if they were watching it for the first time even though I've lost count of how many times they've watched it. I'm curious about this particular behavior. It seems to conflict with the "new, shiny, exciting" things. Are they reliving how they felt when they first watched it? Is it like living in the past? Any ideas? It just boggles my mind and I'm really curious about it.