|
Title: Where do we begin? Post by: Nate43 on June 25, 2018, 12:02:33 AM Our adopted, adult daughter, we believe, has BPD. Her husband and 7 yr old daughter are suffering greatly and wish to leave her. Her "counsellor" has not encouraged her toward assessment.We see her pain and feel helpless. We wish to protect our granddaughter from this ongoing terrible experience. Where do we start for help?
Title: Re: Where do we begin? We believe our adopted DD has BPD, we wish to protect GD Post by: wendydarling on June 25, 2018, 04:52:54 AM Hello Nate43 and welcome to bpdfamily
I'm sorry what brings you here, though glad you found our parents support group here at bpdfamily for help, parents who understand what you and your family are going through, you are not alone. Your daughter's husband and 7 year old daughter are suffering and wish to leave your daughter and you understandably wish to protect your young granddaughter from your daughter's behaviours. Can you share a little more about your daughter, what behaviours are you dealing with, what's happening, so our parents know how best to support you? It's encouraging your daughter is seeing a counsellor, you say they are not encouraging her to take an assessment, did your daughter tell you that, do you think she my be open to engaging in treatment? Has your daughter spoken with you about her struggles? One thing we do is to read through all the resources here in our good time. At the top of this board you'll see the thread Lessons: What can a parent do, and to your |---> right are tools and lessons (some DBT based), the tools help us sharpen our communication skills with our loved one, in fact anyone. Listen with Empathy and Validate the Valid will especially help you support your granddaughter and her feelings about what's happening around her. With these resources you'll learn how to personally move forwards as we learn we can't fix others, change their behaviour only they can do that. How are you coping Nate43? I can imagine you are very worried by the uncertainty all around you right now. We can help by walking with you as you go forwards, we are listening. WDx Title: Re: Where do we begin? Post by: Merlot on June 25, 2018, 08:01:49 AM Hi Nate43
I also join wendydarling in welcoming you here and we are glad you came to join us. Clearly there are some challenging issues for your whole family and it must be terribly difficult and confronting. You clearly love your daughter so but it is equally very difficult to watch you granddaughter and son in law struggle from day to day. wendydarling offers you some wonderful counsel and I encourage you to share what is happening for you and explore your past history and journey forward with other parents here on the board. I came here six months ago following very abnormal behaviour from my DD27 who was diagnosed with BPD a few years ago. I have learned so much and gained wonderful insights from parents here, who can really understand and relate. One of my most important things for me that I learnt early on in the piece was to step back from the drama, validate emotions and not behaviour and learn as much as I could. I do hope you have some good support for yourself too. We look forward to hearing from you. Take care Merlot |