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Hey all. I’ve been extremely busy with work and hanging out with a group of people I met.

Tonight we had a kick back and my ex’s exes friends were there. They are my friends too. We were talking and my exBPd got brought up. One of the guys told me how they dated in hs for a little but he didn’t pursue it in high school.

The other guy, who knew about me Andi knew of him before told me how he was friends with her out of pity. How she was always alone didn’t have anyone. How she used to tell him “I never been here or there like McDonald’s or Burger King”... I told him she’s did the same with me. Exactly the same ducking thing so I always took her places and try new things.

He told me how something wasn’t right with her and she would just snap out of nowhere. How she lied so many times about so many things and he’d catch her in her lies.

How when he used to pick her up, she used to tell him to drive up the street so her parents wouldn’t see. She did the same ___ with me.

I brought up this time my ex told me that they both went on a hike and he took pics of her on Snapchat and she freaked out. I asked him for his side and he told me. I told him the same thing she did  with me. How she was incredibly insecure to Be posted on social media. Yet she did with this new guy she dated.

The dude also told me her ex was never abusive and that was all a lie.

I finally made a group of friends in this state, Nd my damn ex is involved with them... or was involved.

I’m not sure how I feel about This information. It broke me. But I also feel desensitizes to it. I’m not surprised. But I’m also hurt in a way I can’t explain. I thought I was special I guess.

Hi CryWolf,

You are special! But the reality is she is the same person with the same issues walking around in the world and she expresses her needs and has trouble getting them met. She is in a lot of pain and doesn't seem to do well with relationships - that is part of the illness.

But the good news is you have some fun new friends to hang out with!

Keep depersonalizing. You, and likely all these people, were special to her in some way so don't let your mind disassemble like this if ya can.

I know everyone I dated was special to me, but also, life does go on. They likely do nice things for new gals they once did for me. I just hope I left 'em a little better off than when I met 'em, and didn't damage any! It's okay for people to learn and grow and take things they've learned onto the next phases of their lives.

On the point of her ex not being abusive I think it is hard to say. Is she telling people different versions of this? Even in this case it could just be about her not processing it well. She may very well have been abused or mistreated. It is not an easy topic under any circumstance. Unless she outright lied to you and you have proof, perhaps best to just let it set in the unknown box of life labelled "Unknown" and not let it throw you off. This is when practicing letting go is worth a shot.

wishing you peace, pearl.

Well I can relate to your story Crywolf and here are some of those things similar to yours .To be honest I don’t know why they lie so much ,even with no sense of self lieing doesn’t seem required .It hurts badly when you think those I love you’s , those your different , comments from them only to find they lied.Even if it’s after months later ,still hurts to hear .Dont take it personally Crywolf ,they have to live that way ,we don’t !

Here are some of the lies I found out afterwards:

1:she slept with only three people at work (it was 9).
2: she only ever said “I love you” to three men in her life me being one of them ... .it was minimum 6 some 1 week relationship
3: she said she never talked to her ex before the previous one , he spent the weekend with her the weekend she left me .

I could go on all day but I posted just so you know you aren’t alone man,far from it.