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Hello!,

Today  friend of mine, came to me and told me, I know you have been making a lot of progress so i guess if I tell you this will help you more than really bring you down. My ex is now dating a girl that is married and have 2 kids, she is planning to moving with her, after just 4 months  she broke up with me, the mother of my ex is furious and now my ex that wit me has been more than 3 years  begging for having a kid together, now she suddenly said  to my friends the she dont want to have  kids anymore, that she would prefer to travel, and to being even single. so basically si broke up with me to go to a already doom relationship and made me believe I was the bad person, the  toxic partner and that because of me she went away and cheated. ja! I can see it now. finally after 4 months I can see, how toxic she is and how i am much better  without her.

Hi Headheldhigh,

It's really confusing to see your pwBPD do something completely opposite that they didn't happen with you after the break-up. Thankfully you dodged a bullet with not having kids with your expwBPD.

I am totally with you! I feel so lucky to being able now to see her true colors, and that I didn't married her, she was pure problems, and I totally believe I deserve better than that type of toxic and loveless love.

How were you feeling about the breakup before you were given this new information?  Would you say that knowing this has helped you in your detaching?  I ask because when I saw my ex with a new girl only weeks after I left him, that was the final nail for me.  It made me feel insulted and foolish indeed, as it showed me that what he had said to me meant nothing.  (For example, it's going to take me a very very long time to get over you.  Right.)  Certainly fuelled me to push onward through the pain.

How are you feeling right now?

Love and light x

I feel much better. I have been working out with my therapist and my friends about the relationship, doing the list where I show how much she was manipulating me and treating me like ___ was a big impulse to let her go. When I knew this thing I laugh so hard. Cause for me this is just proof that she is in another world, that she is inmmature and irresponsable that she is doing everything in her power to autosabotage herself that the time in therapy and with pills where she was feeling happy make her scared. Because she is not used to be happy and need to feel pain and being in a doom relationship in order to feel she belongs. I'm relieved I feel freedom and I feel like I win soo much when she decide to cheated I gain my life back

Relief was a strong feeling for me too.  I'm glad that you can see the positive in no longer being in the r/s.  How are you finding therapy is helping?  Do you think you have processed grief within your sessions?  It's an astute point you make about your ex not being comfortable with being happy.  I can imagine that for someone who fully expects to be abandoned, that it could be scary to feel too involved with a partner.   

Love and light x