BPDFamily.com

I’ve been on this site for sometime and have learnt a great deal about myself and also BPD .Yesterday my ex and I had a long discussion about what happened to us,what happened during our separation time .Both her and I have been in therapy and have learnt a great deal about ourselves which I directly answered questions about what went wrong.After a 6 hour discussion together we decided to try to be together again even though we both know there will be obstacles for sure.She knows I love her and she loves me , now it’s just a matter of making this a success story ... .easier said than done of course but I will definitely be asking a lot of questions on here she things her tuff.

I am so happy for you, wishing the two of you all the best in your new relationship! :)

itll be good to get support here, and with some previous experience already. a strong support system is so vital.

as a bit of advice, start diving into the lessons! its a good idea to post questions about them, both general questions and as they pertain to your relationship. the discussion and feedback and the personal takes can be invaluable.

I certainly will I’ve started awhile back, I also watched a lot of videos on YouTube on how to properly converse in times of hardship.Plus I’ve been studying on how to be less needy but oddly since I’ve become more confident and my self esteem came back it seems to have take care of itself .

I found reading everything I could get my hands on helped. Loving someone with BPD is good. I found validating was like learning a new language, like Russian. Validating works. Non-jading works and realizing your role as a co-dependent as well. I’m the same. My self confidence has come back. I’m out of the saviour mode.

Hi Shawnlam,

I've exited this board for various reasons but couldn't help see this post so had to log on one last time to wish you the best. You worked very hard to take any personal attachment out of this and really just get her and I think you are entering this with the right kind of heart. Remember to keep those lessons and that frame of mind intact as things get deeper and harder because I think they will make her connection to you and trust in you and lover for you that much deeper as well. Congratulations on all your hard work on your self making a difference in both you and her lives. That kind of thing ripples out into the world, real and virtual.

Hi Shawnlam,

Please keep us updated and seek support here on Bettering. It puts a smile on my face that you and she are working on it after working on yourselves. 

Maybe it would help to go though the success stories at the top of the board for encouragement and tips.  https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=113820.0

Since I've been here,  we've had two former staffers who joined the success stories. I look forward to hearing more as you progress  :)

Thank you 1sttimer all the best to you as well!

Hi Shawnlam,

Well, this is nice to hear!

In terms of having a "success story" what do you think the keys to that will be for you? Is she also working on her communication with you?

wishing you the very best, pearl.

I think the key to success is we both keep working on ourselves and our issues first.As a couple we are both aware of our previous mistakes and we are conscious on not repeating them.Communication and observation are the key to this and that’s what must be maintained.The attractiveness will always be there I believe as long as I make myself attractive to her by always being a better version of myself every year and she as well.She also is aware of these things ,only time will tell if it’s meant to be but I no longer worry about the future,as the present is tuff enough to get right BPD or no BPD :)

Hey Shawnlam,

My deeply hidden inner secret romantic side wants to know... .if ya'll are getting back together... .are you celebrating this in some way? Have something special in the works to relaunch the relationship?

wishing you love, pearl.

:) we went on a two hour sunset horseback ride ,then drove back and went night swimming under the stars , the rest I’ll leave out if yeah know what I mean :)

Awwwww. Wow! That sounds spectacular! I hope this is a nice fresh start and leads to a healthy and happy future! :)

take care, pearl.