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Title: Trying to keep myself sane but it is getting difficult with all of the anxiety. Post by: lonely38 on July 16, 2018, 07:52:28 PM My BPD husband is in a very tough place trying to research what he thinks is BPD and has been told by a therapist this past week is BPD.
We have been in a very bad place for the last 3 or 4 months and it is exhausting me. He continues to write me 'woe is me' texts and emails. He is heading out of town for a retirement get together for him and I am meeting him tomorrow. I would really prefer not to go at this point but my gut and my loyalty tells me I should go. He just texted me from the airport how terrible our relationship is and how sad he is and how he doesn't know how to keep it going. Thoughts on going on this trip? Title: Re: Trying to keep myself sane but it is getting difficult with all of the anxiety. Post by: ILuvABorderline on July 16, 2018, 08:28:59 PM Are there any more details you are willing to share?
I don’t know what to say. I know that personally, my BPD husband, would consider it abandonment and rejection to not go on a trip he remotely wants me to go on. No matter what he said about our marriage or even if he told me he didn’t want me on the trip, the lack of my presence would trigger him into an episode of me not caring about him. Count your costs. If you desperately need time away from him, you gotta do what you gotta do. Title: Re: Trying to keep myself sane but it is getting difficult with all of the anxiety. Post by: lonely38 on July 16, 2018, 09:02:15 PM You are correct that he feel it as abandonment. I am feeling frustrated with needing to do 'the right thing', especially when it seems the right thing isn't going anywhere.
I just validated his text and said that I understand that he feels the way he feels. The topsy turvy of the relationship is unnerving to say the least. |