BPDFamily.com

Hi everyone,

For a while I was thinking of joining a support group, so finally... . I am happy to be a member.
My 22 year old daughter was diagnosed with Borderline schizotypal disorder couple of months ago. Actually after two years of living a hell she was finally hospitalized in Feb. This morning she is back home after 5 months.
It has been an enormous amount of stress, frustration, sadness and anger in our lives over the last two years. We are terrified now and don't know what to expect ... .She has already had an aggressive outburst in the first few hours leaving the hospital and threatens she would be report us for harassment if she is not allowed to do "whatever she wants" (for us this automatically means back to substance and alcohol abuse, and being away from home for days). I know we have to be patient, establish rules etc. but it's so hard with adult children... .
I hope to exchange views with others who are in similar situation. I hope I'll learn to live with this. Thank you

Hello and welcome, ARA.

My heart goes out to you!  No parent should have to go through what you have gone through but by being here you will find you are certainly not alone.

You are right when you say "we have to be patient, establish rules, etc."... .but you have to look after yourselves, too.  Unless you are able to do that, you get totally burned-out... .no use to her nor yourselves.  You have come to the right place to find tools... .share with others as they share with you... .a great support group. 

Sadly, there is no magic button.  With that said, change can happen... .but it probably has to start with you.  In the info to the right |---> |--->... .one of my favourites is "Lesson 2:  If your current approach is not working - change it."  For me, when I first got that feeling of being empowered, I wanted more.  It has been a slow process... .but I am going forward.

You use the word "we" so I gather you have a partner.  It is so important to be on the same page in situations like this... .dealing with the bizarre behaviours. 

Have you, yourself, ever been to counselling?

I certainly hope you find comfort and help by sticking with us.  The thing is, you can come on board at anytime... .night or day... .24/7... .pour out your heart... .and no interruptions as you do so. 

From one Mom to another... .a ((HUG) .

Huat

WELCOME ARA 

    As another mom I join Huat in saying happy to have you here. Sometimes it can be such a relief to finally have a diagnosis, then reality sets in WHAT'A COMING NEXT, AND WHAT DO I DO. Talk about being terrified. I'm pretty sure all the other parents here have had that experience, not to minimize what you feel** just to let you know you're not alone any more.   
   you mentioned that she came back home, at 22 there must be a reason for her still living with you. There are so many parents here with adult children living at home, I'm one of those, for many reasons. That issue alone can be overly stressful   then add mental health issues and oh here we go on the emotional rollercoaster. Let me echo what Huat said: there is no magic button, but change can happen. There is always hope   you made it this far, support is here for you.
  Learning to live with this NEW challenge means acceptance, I have found that mothers can have very deep acceptance when it comes to their child. Hugs to you

Hi
Where has your girl been for the past 5 months?
What sorts of supports were put in place for her?
Could you contact that place to ask what therapy they used so you could research it for yourself?

It sounds like you need some boundaries created for yourself and your girl.  Perhaps you could find a therapist that specializes in your daughters therapy so you can better support her and you.

This is hard! My girl is newly diagnosed so the learning curve is steep.
I’m sorry for you, your beautiful girl and my beautiful disaster.