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Title: Torn: Left him 6 mo's ago, how do I let go? Post by: Reelee72 on July 28, 2018, 08:08:23 AM I'm torn. Torn apart. My heart aches. Not just for me and my kids but for the BPD (spouse) in my life.
I left him 6 months ago after 25 years of marriage. I can't break free. Long story short... .He's an alcoholic (won't admit it and says he hasn't had a drop to drink since we left in January) I've also realized how damaged my kids and I are and how narcissistic he is. He's manipulative but says he's not. My question is how do I let go? Title: Re: Torn Post by: Cat Familiar on July 28, 2018, 09:19:48 AM Twenty-five years is a long time. Of course you're experiencing some pain and loss. Now that you've been apart from him for six months, you're seeing how his narcissism has damaged both you and your kids. You're seeing how manipulative he is. You believe that he's an alcoholic, but he hasn't drank since you left months ago.
The first thing that comes to mind is the term "dry drunk" from AA. I'm not very knowledgeable about this, but from what I remember hearing, alcoholics manifest similar behaviors even if they're not actively using. You might Google this and learn more about the topic. I'm sure there are many articles written about it. You ask how do I let go. It's a challenge to move through the stages of grief in letting go of a relationship. Keep on posting here and you might also post on the Detaching from a Failed Relationship board. https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?PHPSESSID=a29329f3a5f4829b6eafa53ad79ae179&board=8.0 You'll find lots of company there. So sorry for your heartache. It gets better. Cat |