BPDFamily.com

greetings.

anyone going through or been through having to navigate geriatric-related challenges with their parents when one has BPD and one is starting to exhibit behaviors affected by dementia?
they have been pretty high-functioning historically and tend to minimize vulnerabilities so i am not looking forward to what may end up ensuing... .

thanks for whatever guidance you may have to offer.

You would like to know if anyone has had to deal with end of life issues when one parent has BPD and the other beginning to exhibit signs of dementia? I have had to deal with a mother with BPD who has some signs of dementia. My brother finally has her power of attorney and complete control over her medical care and all financial decisions, though he does consult her. You are naturally worried how this is all going to play out. First step, is to keep all professionals that deal with your parents that you can trust informed of what is going on. Also, keep documentation. You are smart to start earlier rather than later in dealing with the challenges with your parents. Do take comfort in that there are many professionals who deal with the elderly who get what the challenges are with people like your parents and will help you, if you keep them in the loop. What are the main issues now? There are people on this Board in similar situations to yours, and I am sure there will be others who will respond. We are here to listen and support you. Keep us posted on how things are going.

Hi and welcome.  I am glad you found us.  As zachira said, there are a few people who are in a similar situation with an elderly BPD mother.  My parents were somewhat similar to how yours sound.  My mother was undiagnosed BPD / uBPD and my father was in the early stages of dementia (though i did not know it at the time). 

The last several years of their lives, I had very limited contact with either of them even though I lived only about twenty minutes away so I have little practical advice for you.  I think the advice zachira gave here is excellent.  Definitely document and get professionals involved if you can.  My mother was the more functional one in terms of getting daily tasks done or ordering my father to do them (she was sick with a re-occurance of cancer and so was weak and tired a lot).  In some ways they got closer though prior to that they despised each other.  So they sort of banded together in defiance against me (my brother told me).

All I can recommend is to ask questions here and post.

You may find this thread helpful:  https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=326657.0;all  but there are plenty people posting here who are dealing with an elderly BPD parent and all that entails.

Just keep reading as you can and posting to.  Ask questions etc.

Hello 

I want to join zachira and Harri in welcoming you. They’ve both offered some excellent advice and ideas. I hope you’ll continue to read and post questions here as they come up.

You are not alone. 

  L2T