BPDFamily.com

In the short time that I’ve been focusing more on this board, I’ve found it to be the most helpful board here through my learning and acceptance.

Acceptance can be very hard through the scope of a survivor of childhood abuse. How do we come to accept horrific acts that we would never contemplate perpetuating onto a child?

My Son is a precious little man in my eyes and to the world if I do my job as a father correctly. If my memory serves me, my abuse started around the age he is now. The time in life when we we’re  fledglings starting to build an identity.

I know that through my parenting, and the instincts that somehow manifested in me that I would never be my parents. This decision was made before I could open a bank account.

I’m adopted and threw out a theory on adoptive children not becoming disordered because there wasn’t an infant/mother bond there. The mother never had psychological/biological control over a brain that wasn’t born from her.

Tough times have a tendency of defining our moments. Personally, I’m tired of allowing this to happen. What happened to me isn’t my definition. What happened to me is a life lesson that that cycle needs to end in a multigenerational cycle.

I’d like to post a song with this.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=zlj7utqFydE (https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=zlj7utqFydE)

Hey Neveragainthanx,

Great song. Music has helped me immeasurably with this BPD thing. Music is tribal, so makes sense we BPD may have similar tastes. Do you feel you have accepted this 100% or are you still fine tuning ?

Hi JNChell,

It sounds to me like you are stepping out and saying, "Nope. Not gonna be a victim anymore. I can choose to be different, and I AM doing that."

Good for you! Sometimes we just need to celebrate these momentous events. 

Keep going! Every new realization is huge and reflects so much growth!

 
Wools

Good for you for taking on the tough stuff and facing your past.   

For me, acceptance that the abuse happened is enough.  Acknowledgement of the damage is what is hard but it is all that really matters to me in terms of healing and changing me.

Do you mean you threw your theory out as in you no longer believe it or threw it out as in you put it out there to talk about?  (sorry but yes, I really can be that dense!  )

    Kids are a blessing, always.  For you, as you raise your son, you will probably confront many childhood issues.  You are ahead of the game because you are aware and attuned to both your past and your sons future.  Hard hard work but so worth it for the both of you.  hug-2

LOVE the song, JNChell. Thank you for sharing it. Strings connect me to my emotions like nothing else. I don’t play, but I love listening.

Yes, you are choosing a different path and doing the hard work to light the way to a better and brighter future, for yourself and your son. You’re no longer stuck in the cycle. We’re here cheering you on.

You will find some days are still hard. Things will happen that trigger new stuff to work through. It’s not fair. But that’s the hand we were dealt. So we choose to deal with it and we pull ourselves out of the muck. You are far ahead of where I was at your age. You’re doing great.   Be kind to yourself today. You are worthy of your own love, compassion and kindness.

I’m really glad you’re posting more here. 

  L2T

Beautiful song and you like you are an amazing father!

Thanks, Pina Colada! Hope your school year kicks off to a good start.