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Title: Hanging up on a uNPD . . . Post by: Deb on August 13, 2018, 04:03:25 PM Because it feels so good. LOL!
My husband had a medical crisis last month. Now my probable NPD BIL thinks he gets to make medical decisions for my husband. Nope. Not even. We have "living wills" and "Medical directives", and have had them for 15 years. His name is not on any of them. But does that stop a narc? no. So anyway, last Monday, my BIL calls and asks how DH is doing. I tell him he's doing good and volunteer that he started physical therapy. So far so good. I do MC with him generally. So then he asks me about a caregiver for my husband and I tell him it's not needed. It's not. My husband is NOT an invalid. He can't drive right now. He also doesn't shower unless I am here with him to be sure he doesn't fall. But he can heat up leftovers or soup. We have close neighbors he can visit. He has friends who will come get him and hang out. MY BIL starts to argue with me. I tell him firmly it is a private medical decision between my and my husband. He then says (are you ready for it?) "NO! it's a FAMILY decision!" red-flag Instead of JADEing with him, I hung up. And he hasn't called back. See folks? I Have learned a thing or two about a thing or two from this place. Don't JADE with narcs. Title: Re: Hanging up on a uNPD . . . Post by: Learning2Thrive on August 13, 2018, 06:43:23 PM Excerpt See folks? I Have learned a thing or two about a thing or two from this place. Don't JADE with narcs. Awesome! Do you have a plan to deal with him in the event he escalates? L2T Title: Re: Hanging up on a uNPD . . . Post by: Woolspinner2000 on August 13, 2018, 07:51:10 PM Celebrating with you the joy of holding firm to a boundary!
It's good. Rejoicing with you, Wools Title: Re: Hanging up on a uNPD . . . Post by: Panda39 on August 13, 2018, 08:00:30 PM Giiiiirrrrl you got skills!
Nice job not JADEing and upholding your boundary! Wishing your Hubby a speedy recovery Panda39 Title: Re: Hanging up on a uNPD . . . Post by: Deb on August 14, 2018, 11:29:39 AM Awesome! Do you have a plan to deal with him in the event he escalates? L2T Oh, yes. I will go VLC with him and refuse his phone calls. My husband is LC already. And, there isn't a lot he CAN do. He is in a wheelchair and we have no ramp to our house. He wasn't ever supposed to be in that chair. He was supposed to use it ONLY for going out to fairs and for shopping. But he used it in the house from day one and now he has no choice. We went completely NC with him for 8 months before because he was being such a jerk. I love his girlfriend, but I can see her other places. She knows he was being obnoxious so she won't take his side in an argument. And if he tries to complain to someone for elder abuse, they can come over. They will see my husband is recovering and not in need of a full time caregiver. Title: Re: Hanging up on a uNPD . . . Post by: zachira on August 14, 2018, 12:09:06 PM Sometimes all you can do is walk away when someone disrespects your point of view no matter what you do to get them to listen.
Title: Re: Hanging up on a uNPD . . . Post by: Pilpel on August 14, 2018, 02:39:10 PM Lol. I feel your satisfaction at hanging up. I’ve been hung up on by my NPD SIL a couple times, but I’ve never hung up on her. But I do fantasize about doing it some times. It’s always so weird talking to her on the phone.
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