BPDFamily.com

Intro:  I am a father of a 13y dBPD.  Also have a 18 year marriage with wife who has BPD and female in-laws with BPD.  Immediate family is generally stable, but with two BPD members, not completely normal. 

Family members have been in Therapy and Psychiatric care for decades, but only in the last 2 years have we been introduced to DBT and a diagnosis of BPD. Was introduced to this site a couple days ago. 

Daughter is  a "good" kid with self-harm and suicidal issues which began appearing with the onset of puberty.  She has twice been in short term residential care (suicide watches) and has not responded well in them.  In addition, she has picked up some bad "habits" from other patients who were in the setting for other reasons than BPD (substance abuse, etc).

We are trying to place daughter in residential care to give her the tools to battle the self harm tendencies.  Preferences include a female only program with a focus on BPD.  Our daughter would do well in an equine program, but I don't know if insurance will pay for it.  We would like a setting which limits the interaction with a more general mental health population or has a small enough program where she gets significant personal support.

We are struggling with insurance and trying to find the best place so we are expanding our possible options.

Could you please post recommendations in the replies?
Looking specifically for places where you have personal positive experiences. 

THANKS

Hi HallelujahHall

Welcome to the bpdfamily :hi:

I'm sorry that you've had to get here but also glad you are here as parents we are experiencing many of the same issues, challenges.  I'm sorry your daughter is self harming at such a tender age, i'm sure you are filled with so much worry.

Can I say that your wife and daughter are very lucky to have you, no doubt 18 years of marriage living with BPD cannot have been easy for any of you and I commend you in being here.

Personally I don't have experience with therapy.  My D27 was diagnosed three years ago and is high functioning and denies her diagnosis.  I have been cut off after a rage since January this year and am unable to reach her through validation techniques.

I have been reading a number of books. Sepcifically, "I hate your don't leave me" makes reference to the varying range of options available for treatment.  There is no one size fits all and it is about finding the best fit for you.  I know many parents here will be able to provide you guidance in this regard as well.  Which country are you in?

As for learning there is plenty helpful information to the right |--->

Are you able to share a little more of what has been happening for you?  How are you coping?

We look forward to hearing from you.

Take care of yourself

Merlot

Hello HallelujahHall

I join Merlot welcoming you here to bpdfamily. I'm sorry you've been going  through so much with your young daughter following the onset of puberty.

You have a good idea of what you want for your daughter in terms of RTC and that is important from what I have read from other parents.  If you read Lbjlnx's experience of finding the right place for her young daughter, she recommends research, follow up phone calls and whittle down to top four, follow up with a visit. (Let me find the thread I recall for you). I'm in the UK so have no personal experience to share with you. You mention struggling with insurance, in what way?

Have your medics suggested recommended routes to find RTC's for teens?

I am glad to hear your immediate family is generally stable.

Look forward to hearing more from you.

WDx

HallelujahHall
This was the thread I read recently of jellibeans experience finding the right place for her daughter. Making a Decision on Treatment Centres (UPDATE: Menninger Clinic) (https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=240182.0)

HallelujahHall ~ wondering if you've been able to make any progress in your search?

WDx