BPDFamily.com

Hello All,
It's been a long journey of healing but I feel I'm getting back to being the best version of myself possible.  Lately the unexBPD has sent me numerous nasty emails and is quite frankly being a royal pain.  About 2 months ago she introduced me to her soon to be husband, I peronsonally congradulated him and told him I look forward to exchanging stories of my son. This began the downfall with my exBPD. I look back and now realized that I perhaps am living my life on my terms and not being controlled by the exBPD anymore.  For instance, if you have read one of my previous post the exBPD loves taking me back for child support, when she told me that daycare has decreased I told her to keep the extra 30$ a month and that I'm not going to file a modification.  This past week is when it really hit me how miserable and desperate she is in these emails, threatening to call child services, all of the child alienation she engages in, always try to make me jealous with her soon to be husband.
So here's my question and a point of view my best friend told me.  According to my female friend, I'm 100x more good looking than her future husband, I'm college educated he's not, I have a house and numerous rental properties, he lives at his parents house, I spend all my days off of work with my son, my exBPD and her man has 2 weekends a month.
I bought and drive a beater car just for custody exchanges as she likes to buy new cars and show them off.  Lately she just found out I have a new car besides my beater car as we ran into eachother at the gas station.
So my question is: is she miserable because I moved on with my life and have things her and her man does not. I'm sure her man has qualities that I don't have as well. 

There's a lot of yes's and maybe's there.  I'll just say that whatever she has will never be enough emotional supply for her.  And she'll find fault with whoever she is with.  It's the nature of the beast, the disorder.  BPD is a dysfunction of close relationships, the closer they are the more discord and conflict they have.

I recall the day we settled along the GAL's recommendation that I get full custody and she kept equal time.  (GAL hoped she would behave better with the child support.  She didn't. I had to go back again to get majority time, took 2 full days in court.)  I told the GAL I hoped she'd get married so she could move on with her life.  GAL said, No one will marry her.

She is miserable because she has a debilitating mental illness that makes it all but impossible to regulate even the slightest emotion.

She is on a roller coaster of emotions that create devastating internal chaos.

You only see the tip of the iceberg.

You are not the source of her misery, you are just one outlet for it.

My xH does not have a personality disorder.  Sometimes he treats me like crap.  Sometimes he does his best to make my life difficult.  Sometimes he totally ignores me and my questions about the kids.

For a while, I used to think the unpleasantness was caused by something I did/didn't do, and I tried to change my behavior.  Then I figured out that I was being too ego-centric.  It's not about me.  It is all about him.  Sometimes he has a bad week at work, and he decides to take out the bad attitude on me.  My guess is that's because I'm a person he interacts with that he isn't close to - he can be mean to me and it doesn't cause a huge backlash in his life.

That could be a totally wrong interpretation.  Mostly, I just take a deep breath and think "it would totally suck to be as unhappy as he is so much of the time" and move on to some other happier thoughts.  That will probably serve you best too.  You can't predict what else is going on in her life... .and that doesn't even include the crazymaking part of her personality disorder.

It seems she gets very aggravated when I have my son on my custodial time.  I don't believe she is really happy ever, hence looking back when she was with me she was miserable.