BPDFamily.com

Recently I came out of denial about my sister. Christiane Nothrup's book Dodging Energy Vampires really helped me understand that my sister has a Cluster B personality disorder. Although I am not a doctor, as best I can tell, my sister has Borderline Personality Disorder and is a Psychopath too. Aside from that fact that she is a convicted felon with a drinking problem, I have 40 years of being abused by her. She got our dad to disown me when I was only 19. Then she moved in with my boyfriend and I uninvited and eventually wound up in bed with my boyfriend. Then she abandoned me with an apartment I couldn't afford, only to move back into that same apartment when I had broken up with my fiance (different boyfriend) so she could have two children with my ex-fiance. The story only gets worse. But fast forward to today, she found out our mother had appointed me the trustee of her living trust and my sister is furious. She got an attorney and is on a mission to dismantle the living trust and take control of our mother's life. Never mind the fact that she claimed to hate our mother the day I called to let her know she had a stroke. Now she is painting herself the "good daughter" and lying to relatives and friends to bolster her case. She is such an accomplished liar that I have always just run away and let her have her way all these decades. Now I am choosing to stand up to her but I have to do so with the knowledge that she will probably convince the courts that I am the problem. She is so good at that. It keeps me up nights. It is harming my health. Yes, I just got a therapist who specializes in Cluster B. And still, the fear and agony can be crushing.

Hi and welcome to the board!  I am so sorry to hear about your struggles with your sister and also that your mother had a stroke.  The actions your sister took are very very hurtful.  You have found a place where a lot of people can relate to having a mentally disordered family member so you are in good company.  We all support each other as we navigate our way through various situations.

I hear you using terms like cluster B and energy vampires.  We don't use those terms here so forgive me but are you saying you think your sister has BPD and or NPD?  I just want to make sure we are talking about the same thing and don't want to make assumptions.  There are a lot of pop psych terms out there that don't really convey what is going on, which is in part why they are not common on the site.

I am glad you got yourself a therapist to talk with.  What you describe is a scary situation and it is good you have help.  We also have a Legal board here that many people have found to be of benefit.  A lot of the posts apply to Divorces from BPD/NPD but they also know a lot about how to handle these high conflict personalities in legal situations.  In case you want to post there and ask for support or questions here is a link: https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?board=10.0

In the meantime, feel free to settle in, ask questions, read and post.  We can help you as you deal with this tough situation.